The Way I Am

I'm not the easiest person to understand. I get that. But there are some things about me that I work overtime to make very clear to the people in my "inner-circle."

I just talked about my #1 Pet Peeve so you'll have to forgive me if I'm beating a dead horse here.

I'm an asshole.

There. I said it.

But I've said it before. Heck, you could probably search "asshole" on my blog and find that statement somewhere else. I own it. But I'm no more an asshole than the next guy. The difference is, I readily admit it. I feel like, though, people use that against me. It's easy to take something I say that you may not like and attribute it to me being a "smart ass." I wrote a facebook note about this, once. Here's an excerpt:

But the fact that I'm an asshole doesn't give you the right to use me as a crutch. If you're mad at me, that's great... but don't pretend it's because I'm an asshole. What truly makes me an asshole is saying the things we all think but won't say, which is usually the truth.

There's a 90/10 theory in communication that says we say 90% of what we think, but that last 10% we don't say is probably the most important stuff. We don't say it because we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but it's the truth. And last I checked, people liked the truth... well, people think they like the truth.

I promise that the reason your life is or isn't going right has nothing to do with me being honest.

Someone told me once "You ruin my day when you talk." suprisingly they were upset with me, that day and what they said hurt my feelings (uhh yes, assholes do have feelings) but what I had been saying to them was the truth and as a "friend" I had to tell the truth.

We all have enough liars in our lives, why do we punish those who tell us the truth? But more than that, people don't like me... excuse me... think I'm an asshole less because I tell the truth and more because I refuse to say what they want to hear and not call them out on it.

I'm not perfect. We all know that. Read a post or two, it becomes super apparent. Sometimes I say things I shouldn't. Sometimes I make observations about people that aren't true or are baseless. But the rampant freedom some people feel to immediately label me a "jerk" or "smart ass" because they don't like what I have to say just isn't ok.

Um, on a far happier note, the weekend is near. I don't have any Memorial Day plans. I just want to eat, finally watch "Notorious" and sleep. That's ALL I wanna do.