Focus HERE

When I opened up a new post, my intentions were to lament for a few lines about how much some of my friends suck sometimes; how they take, take, take and don't give. I've done quite a few posts on how much I love music and so that explains why I always like to include a song that helps set the mood for the post. I've been playing Brandy's Never S-A-Y Never (Human was a great album, but in my opinion she's yet to top NSN) lately and so I went to find the video for Sittin' On Top of the World and all I could find were live performances. I really just wanted the video so I kept looking and as I looked through Brandy's videos on youtube I found one of a recent performance where she does a medley of Sittin' On Top of the World and Best Friend... and it all clicked for me.

I've done enough blog posts here about 'em and so I've done enough focusing on those in my life who seem to only want to take from me. They're not bad people and with many of them I have some really good memories and I look forward to making more; however, I do allow them to take and at some point I must take responsibility for that. Lamenting and feeling sorry for myself is not the way to do that.

One thing I am going to do, however, is focus on those in my life who give to me more than I feel they take. The first one I think of is my BFF, J. Over the last year I've come to really appreciate him. I know that when I call, I'm a priority. He knows the same about me. I know that he really cares about what's happening in my life and that my happiness is important to him; he knows the same about me. In fact, it's a conversation we had a little over a year ago that rings in my ear whenever I'm feeling upset or sad about some of the people I allow in my space. In the conversation, J told me how much it upset him to see me upset because of the way people treated me. "I told you to stay away from them, but because that's where you wanted to be, I supported you," he said. "But now, you're just pissing me off. Stop letting them upset you because it's upsetting me and that pisses me off..." Maybe it's because we have always implicitly understood each other but I got exactly what he said -- and he did say a lot.

1) Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame one me...
2) Real friends are concerned with your happiness. Period.
3) Real friends won't let other people take their spot if they know they're not good for you, but...
4) Real friends also accept that what you want is what you want and will be as supportive as they can.

I tell J every chance I get that I love him and I truly do. Everybody deserves a BFF like that. Everybody -- and I need to be that type of BFF back to him instead of trying to give it to people who don't want it.

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