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10.26.2010

30 Days To Get Back

I've wanted to come back. I've missed being here, but I've had NO time.

Lots has happened that has me re-reading some of my own blog posts trying to figure out what to do! I have had a lot of good blog topics run across the brain, but of course I didn't write any of them down. Then again, even if I had I still probably wouldn't have blogged about them. They were pertinent then, but this is a new day.

I promised that when I came back, I'd do the 30 day blog challenge. I think it's been 2 months since everyone else did it, but that's cool. I do things in my own time. 30 days for me to reintroduce myself will begin on 11/1 so make sure you're here that day.

6 comments:

Reads4Pleasure said...

I'll be here!

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Looking forward to it. You've been missed :-)!

Thoughtsofsoutherngal said...

Looking forward to it!

CareyCarey said...

"They were pertinent then, but this is a new day"

I believe there's a hidden jewel in those words.

I once had a "client" that loved to run his mouth. Which, for the most part, always got him in trouble because his mouth opened before he thought about the consequences of his words, or if anything he said would change the matters at hand. Well, I told him to shut the hell up. Really, in a 3 day period, he was not to engage in conversation unless it was imperitive that he do so. He had to carry a note book, and write down the times in which he wanted to speak (time and date), and what he would have said. He had to do this at that moment.

The challenge/goal was to get him to see if anything he would have said, would have changed any damnn thing. Also, if he had said what was on his mind, where might the conversation drifted, and the consequences of such.

A.Smith said...

You guys are the best!

Carey, you've got to tell me how this ends. Did he learn anything? That's an interesting homework assignment, I'll have to store that away for myself. Heck, I might even do it for myself.

CareyCarey said...

Ms Smith, I knew YOU would as that question. :-) Well, first, like you inferred, it's a great learning tool for everyone. It was passed down to me by someone that cared about me and my predicament. Like my client, I had/have a propensity to speak immediately after I am addressed, and/or whenever I believe my words are "needed" in a discussion. Well, one day my mentor simply told me that I did not have to repond to "everything". Basically, we were having a conversation and he was "schooling" me. But big mouth me always had to have a snappy reponse. Now, as we went deeper into the "everything" he explained the importance of answering "questions", which involves respect, and in some cases responsibilty, but other than that, it was important for me to consider why I was responding. Yet, more importantly, if anything I was about to say, would make any damn difference to the topic at hand.

Consequently, I had to look inside myself. You know, why did I really have a need say what I was about to say. Was it an unconscious stroking of my ego? Was it a need to be "right"? Was it a control issue? Was it a need to always have the last word? Was it a need to tell others how smart and wise I was?

Let me tell you Ashley, it was a learning process. Half of the mess I would have said, would not have made a damn different in the overall scheme of things. In fact, most of the mess that would have fallen out of my mouth, would have made things worse. Even if I was right in what I was saying, I might have hurt someone's feelings and/or they might have withdrawn from me, because, now, I may have made them fell uncomfortable (for various reasons).

The fruits from all of this painful labor comes through self discovery... why I do the things I do. More importantly, when I did use the "just shut up" ideaology/concept, I was able to look back and see the fruits of my labor. Meaning... holding close to my chest, what I would have said, and then looking back, I soon realized my words (written or spoken)would not have changed a damn thing. Because in reality, and for the most part, nobody wants to hear our opinions unless they're askd for. Especially if they are different from theirs.

I was going to tell you how this worked for the "client", but maybe I've already worn out my welcome.

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