Have you ever done something with the best intentions, or maybe with no intentions, and it just got away from you and turned into something it was never supposed to be?

I remember one time in high school I tried to dead an issue between my then-BFF and another girl. I made a LOT of innocent mistakes, but a simple conversation between myself and the other girl somehow turned into the most devastating betrayal ever. The then-BFF called me a bitch, accused me of stabbing her in the back... she did everything but face punch me, which at the time I wished she would've done instead of laying the verbal smackdown on me that she did.

Being a teenager and having my hormones all out of whack, that simple misunderstanding sent me spiraling into a teenaged depression. I was on an emo kick for real. I was DEVASTATED that not only did someone I consider a dear friend think I had tried to hurt her but she thought I had tried to do that when I was really just trying to help her!

The more I tried to explain what had really gone down, the worse it got. I can't quite explain how this worked, but I know that the more people who approached me wondering what was happening, the more fudged the story got even though I explained it the same way to everyone. Eventually I figured out that it was easier to just let the story run it's course and hope that she and I would have a chance to clear the air.

We never talked about it again and I know that it was one of the MANY things that contributed to the ultimate end of our friendship -- if you want to call what we had a friendship.

I've had a few more similar instances, but I've learned something valuable through them all. At this point, I take a pretty immediate and hard line stance when things like this happen. I apologize to the effected parties, shut the hell up and have several seats. It isn't easy to do that when inside I'm thinking of how the fact that things reachied this point wasn't even my fault but I remind myself that regardless of what I meant, I ultimately played a part in things ending up as they did and so I need to own that and move on.

The thing about your words or actions getting away from you is that you can't get them back and if you spend too much time trying, you'll lose a lot of opportunities to dead an issue. Some folks are just absolutely impossible to appease and nothing you say will change that; in fact it will only give them more fodder for their anger. Say you're sorry, and lay low -- let it blow over. If anybody wants clarification, they'll find you and ask for it.

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