Life Lesson 10: Maybe You're The Common Denominator

Yesterday: Respect Yourself
Today: Maybe You're the Common Denominator

If you find yourself losing jobs, losing friends, and losing relationships constantly, maybe it’s time to consider the possibility that you could be the problem.

One of the realest conversations I ever had with the BiFF was one that ended by him saying "I don't know, Ashley. Maybe it's you. You're the common factor in all this..." I was complaining, as had become common, about all the drama I was in. For years people asked me, how is it you stay in drama but it's never "your fault"? When he said that to me, I had to admit that while maybe I didn't cause the drama, I didn't do much to try to stay out of it either. I was complicit in the mess and I had to own up to that.

I see people complain and commiserate on facebook all the time. Life sucks, nothing's going right, but let them tell it -- it's the universe who hates them, not their messed up, backwards decision making. Sometimes, sometimes, it's just you. It's not the world, it's not this guy over here... it's you. You are the reason YOU can't get ahead. Which, really, is kinda awesome. That means that YOU are in control of when you'll start winning and stop losing.

Even if you're not completely to blame, you share some of it. It never hurts when things are going (or have gone) awry to ask yourself if there was anything at all you could've done differently. The answer is rarely going to be "no" and if it is often "no," that's gonna be a good sign you have a hard time being objective. Ask a friend to help.

Learning to accept responsibility for your actions is part of growing up. You should have it mastered by, oh, age 10. Those over age 10 who still can't say "yup, that was me... I screwed up..." are doing it wrong and are very frustrating people to deal with. Those tend to be the same people who have a hard time apologizing. Fact is, we all make mistakes. It's not a bad thing to be sorry for making a mistake. It's not a bad thing to admit you messed up and it's not a bad thing to admit that the reason everything around you is on fire is because you set it on fire.

Stop dating the same kind of people if those kind of people never work out. Stop going after the same job if you never get a callback. Stop. Making. The. Same. Dumb. Decisions. Over. And. Over. It's really that simple. Take control of your life and see don't it change your life.

Monday: The World Owes You Nothing; It Was Here First