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10.03.2008

Stop! In the name of love


In a previous post, I talked about whether or not you should tell your friend about his/her significant other cheating. I came to the conclusion that the risk you run in doing that is too great, when you know your friend won't hear you out. Essentially I boiled it down to keeping your friendship vs being right.

I hate one of my friend's boyfriends. We'll call her Liz and him Brad. And ok. I don't hate him, but I do hate the relationship. I won't bore you with details of why, but let's just say they are great for each other in ALL the wrong ways.

So I'm faced with a dilemma. Do I tell her how much I don't like him, and that I can already see where their relationship is headed, or do I shut the heck up, since no one asked me and grin and bear it as she puts up with his crap.

This morning, after dealing with yet another situation yesterday, I had decided to keep quiet. But the longer I think about this, the more I don't know. See, I'm not afraid that she won't believe me. In fact, I know she will. What's important to me, though is that she see what I'm talking about for herself. It's not enough for me to tell her -- she'll never learn the lesson life is trying to teach her -- but I don't want her to get hurt cause this guy is a jerk.

The other thing I realized as I talked to another friend about this and sought her ideas and advice is that some of this for me is about being selfish. When he messes up bad enough that she finally says "ok. I can't do this," it'll be me she calls crying. It'll be me left to pick up the pieces and all that jazz. It might be tomorrow (doubtful) next month (doubtful) or next year (most likely) but that day WILL come (unless this dude shapes up QUICK) and I'll be left holding the bag.

How do you stay quiet and patient with your friend standing in the way of a speeding train?

3 comments:

Ms Conception said...

Say nothing! I have a cousin, and we were tighter than a pair oof stretch jeans. I caught her boyfriend at the movies with another female, and he tried to hide from me.The next morning i calld her and told her about it. I described to her what he had on to the T. at that time he was over her house with the same dam clothes he had on from last night. Then it all went downhill..she kept questioning saying how do i know its him..you only met him once..blah blah blah. I was like whatever believe what you want because i'm doing this because i care. Well..our relationship has never been the same..we dont see each other or talk to each other. Not to mention she married his cheating ass!! My motto..see no evil..hear no evil..speak no evil..or however it goes...LOL. and...stay outta grown folks business..ahahhaa. Lata girl

A.Smith said...

You're right... stay the hell out of grown folks' business. I need to add that to my list of mottos.

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