What do you miss?The other day I was reading Twentysomething Renaissance Where Renaissance talked about figuring out why she wanted to be in a relationship. She said
The holidays had me running crazy, my debt was piling up, I wasn't sure what the hell I was doing with my life, I was dealing with a death in the family, I was trying to be the rock for everyone I came in contact with and I really really really just wanted someone to be the rock for me. I wanted to be rescued from my to-do list and my jam-packed calendar. I wanted someone to take control and fix everything for me because I clearly didn't have a firm grip on anything. I didn't even have time to find someone, but oh did I want them. I needed some sort of stability.And it clicked with me. I find myself longing for things I used to have, sometimes, because I think it'll help orient my self. It'll help me right my world when things get topsy turvy. I try to distinguish missing/longing for something because I think it'll fix things versus legitimately missing things.
Suddenly, I realized I was aching for a dude when, really, I needed to get my life together. So I took a break. I disappeared for a bit. Slept a lot. Took myself to brunch, the movies, and bookstores. Worked on random art projects in my room. Tackled my never-ending list a little bit at a time and refused to sweat the things I didn't get around to.
To answer the question, though, I miss high school (though I don't miss being a teenager), I miss college (for reasons similar to why I miss high school) and I miss my life being ever so unpredictable.
2 comments:
Oh shoot! The sign said "not open to everyone".
OkaY, I've been kicked out of better places than this so... bring it Ms Smith *lol*.
Hey, again I saw you at someone elses house. Your writng is coming along. You might have a novel in you.
I wanted to talk about 2 things. First, your comment to kit was on line. I've found out the the thought of letting someone go is much harder than the after splash. I mean, as long as we are in the pain of "if I do" they'll never be any resolution. I believe that's what you were saying, I think. Well, since I've been on both sides of the fence, I know that sentiment is true.
On this post, I gotta do my big brother thang. Well, just like in the aforementioned problem, all that mess is in your head. A comfort zone is hard to find. However, we don't live on an island, so needing company is natural. But I'll tell you something, I didn't have a job until I was 32. Yep, 32. So I guess I am saying, live a little bit. If you're lucky, you have a long way to go. A million people would take your hand and throw theirs away.
Come by and see me sometimes. I love your honesty and your courage.
Hey, did you ever write about you and your guy. I read small snipets, but I didn't know about the story you shared @ kit's.
One things for sure, the way you handled those folks over at that "how white people act" blog, you would be a good catch because you wouldn't bore a man to death :-). Can you cook too?
You scare me.
Aww Carey -- can black people blush? I'm blushin..
You were feeling me on kit's blog. That's exactly what I was saying. "Gone 'head and jump -- the water's fine" (someone should've said to me)
I started a 6-8 months ago detailing "us" but when he died, I didn't think it was appropriate to continue. You can still read it though -- The Series.
I may do a succinct post or two, on us, just to clear up the loose ends. But a lot of the more recent things can be found here.
Is there a difference between "I do cook" and "I can cook" because I find myself using the former...maybe to avoid using the latter??
Thanks again, Carey. You're awesome, btw.
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