I Miss This

I signed up to recieve a semi-regular e-mail from a website called Plinky with random questions intended to prompt thought process (think formspring -- and do feel free to ask me anything there). This is the first one that ever got my juices flowing.
What do you miss?
The other day I was reading Twentysomething Renaissance Where Renaissance talked about figuring out why she wanted to be in a relationship. She said
The holidays had me running crazy, my debt was piling up, I wasn't sure what the hell I was doing with my life, I was dealing with a death in the family, I was trying to be the rock for everyone I came in contact with and I really really really just wanted someone to be the rock for me. I wanted to be rescued from my to-do list and my jam-packed calendar. I wanted someone to take control and fix everything for me because I clearly didn't have a firm grip on anything. I didn't even have time to find someone, but oh did I want them. I needed some sort of stability.

Suddenly, I realized I was aching for a dude when, really, I needed to get my life together. So I took a break. I disappeared for a bit. Slept a lot. Took myself to brunch, the movies, and bookstores. Worked on random art projects in my room. Tackled my never-ending list a little bit at a time and refused to sweat the things I didn't get around to.
And it clicked with me. I find myself longing for things I used to have, sometimes, because I think it'll help orient my self. It'll help me right my world when things get topsy turvy. I try to distinguish missing/longing for something because I think it'll fix things versus legitimately missing things.

To answer the question, though, I miss high school (though I don't miss being a teenager), I miss college (for reasons similar to why I miss high school) and I miss my life being ever so unpredictable.


CareyCarey said...

Oh shoot! The sign said "not open to everyone".

OkaY, I've been kicked out of better places than this so... bring it Ms Smith *lol*.

Hey, again I saw you at someone elses house. Your writng is coming along. You might have a novel in you.

I wanted to talk about 2 things. First, your comment to kit was on line. I've found out the the thought of letting someone go is much harder than the after splash. I mean, as long as we are in the pain of "if I do" they'll never be any resolution. I believe that's what you were saying, I think. Well, since I've been on both sides of the fence, I know that sentiment is true.

On this post, I gotta do my big brother thang. Well, just like in the aforementioned problem, all that mess is in your head. A comfort zone is hard to find. However, we don't live on an island, so needing company is natural. But I'll tell you something, I didn't have a job until I was 32. Yep, 32. So I guess I am saying, live a little bit. If you're lucky, you have a long way to go. A million people would take your hand and throw theirs away.

Come by and see me sometimes. I love your honesty and your courage.

Hey, did you ever write about you and your guy. I read small snipets, but I didn't know about the story you shared @ kit's.

One things for sure, the way you handled those folks over at that "how white people act" blog, you would be a good catch because you wouldn't bore a man to death :-). Can you cook too?

You scare me.

A.Smith said...

Aww Carey -- can black people blush? I'm blushin..

You were feeling me on kit's blog. That's exactly what I was saying. "Gone 'head and jump -- the water's fine" (someone should've said to me)

I started a 6-8 months ago detailing "us" but when he died, I didn't think it was appropriate to continue. You can still read it though -- The Series.

I may do a succinct post or two, on us, just to clear up the loose ends. But a lot of the more recent things can be found here.

Is there a difference between "I do cook" and "I can cook" because I find myself using the former...maybe to avoid using the latter??

Thanks again, Carey. You're awesome, btw.

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