I'm walking irony. There are plenty of things that are true about me that directly conflict with other things that are also true about me.

Case in point: I don't take a whole lot of shit off people, but for those I care about, I'm a MAJOR sucker. I referenced this in a previous post.
I just don't know any other way. I don't know how to not be consistent. Being
there for the people I care about is important to me

What I've discovered and am slowly coming to accept is that this attitude towards friendship, for whatever reason, consistently lends itself to opening up to "users"

And by user, I simply mean someone whose sole intent in pursuing a relationship (of whatever sort) is to gain what they can and immediately walk away when they have gotten all they can. OR (and this type is harder to spot) one who maintains a relationship, doing the least amount of work, for the greatest gain.

Now, people will only do what you require them to do. That's just the rule, per human nature. Also, I've discussed and pondered what role I play in how it is I find myself in these frustrating situations and I admit that by not demanding that people treat me better, they will continue to treat me in whatever way is "easiest for them." But I'm slowly reaching my breaking point.

I don't have many friends in my life that I speak to everyday. The reason is, I'd get frustrated and bored with them. So when I say "so-and-so never calls" I don't mean they do call, just not as often as I'd like, I mean they never call, don't text, can't be bothered to send an e-mail won't return my attempts at contact, etc... and honestly, that in and of itself doesn't bother me. We all need breaks, relationships go through ebbs and flows and you have to be prepared for that (as I've mentioned before). But you don't get to do all of that, and then only have time to contact me when you need something.

You know, I can even deal with the types who right before or right after will feign interest in your life so as not to reveal what this is really about. Though, I do hate when people treat me like I'm stupid, at least the attempt to cover their tracks should be noted. It's when they don't care enough to pretend to care, that it gets me.

I hate a lot of things about how people act, one of them is people treating me like I'm stupid, more than that though is when people take others for granted and that's what I'm watching happen to me, right now. I'm seeing the very act of someone taking me for granted and not being concerned.

I suppose the question is really to me. What am I going to do about it? I have a lot of options, including cutting them off -- but I can't do that. I should do that, but I can't. Right now, it seems like I'll just be venting here on the ol' blog and stewing while I come up with a proper response...

Meanwhile, I'm also wondering, WHY do people do that? What life lesson did I learn that makes me not use people that others didn't get? Or maybe what life lesson did they learn that I didn't that makes using others ok? Is this some larger commentary on our society? If I have kids, I want to instill in them that they will do many important things in their lifetime, and one of the most important will be to make quality, lasting friendships with people. And that those friendships will be a testament to them as a person, long after they're gone. It will be like the air that follows you when you walk. The relationships they form will contribute to their lasting legacy and so they should treat them like the important things they are. Taking the time to choose people who are worthy of their effort and then putting forth the greatest effort they can. Unlike their mother who seems to understand this, but not well enough to put it into action...


Ms. Behaving said...

For whatever it's worth, you're certainly NOT alone and besides, it makes the most sense to me to first THINK about what it is you're going to do about the situation and then act.

You're a lot less likely to regret your decision that way. :-)

A.Smith said...

@MsBehaving You're right. And from an outside standpoint, I can see that in her mind she's not using me and it's not malicious and everything is fine. I guess I just am a little more wary of people's actions these days. Folks will get ya if you're not careful.

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