2009: Life, Love and Happiness

The beginning of a new year brings so much to most individuals. Many people see it as a new chance to begin again. One of my old professors had a facebook status recently that said something like "I wonder how differently academics see the start of a new year from non-academics." When you operate on the education schedule, your new year starts in August -- so for me this is first time in 22 years that January really marked the beginning of anything major.

I'm not one to attach a whole lot of meaning where there isn't meant to be one. I think you can "start over" in March or June just as easily as you can in January. I think celebrating the end of one year and the beginning of another is great, but I think it's important to remember that you can make changes all year round.

Last night I had the following text message exchange with a friend

Me: After driving my mom's car for 2wks, I got in my car and started actin' a fool. I can take a corner again!
Friend: What? Does she drive an SUV? And you are very special
Me: Yeah she does. I love hers, but heart mine. And I am special. Very special. Don't forget it.
Friend: How could I? But you might want to tame that a little.
Me: Why would I? It's worked so far... 22 yrs.

Eventually my friend said she was kidding and that I should always "do me" and I believe her; however, it got me to thinking...

I'm not comfortable with sharing my observations of close friends with them. It has been my experience that my close friends trust me enough that they would be willing to make major changes based on what I say. I don't ever intend my words to suggest to someone that they are not ok. I may tell you that you are not ok in my life, but that doesn't make you a non-ok person. It's taken me sometime to be ok with who I am, love and like who I am. Not only that, but I also realized it was important to accept that not everyone would like me, and that not only did that not necessarily say anything about them, but it also didn't say much about me.

I think our society is placing more and more (too much) emphasis on validation from others. It's nice to have other people tell you you're "good" but ultimately the only validation that matters is your own -- and you'd be surprised how quickly outside validation will come once you do that.


On a slightly unrelated note, I'm also committing to living a drama free life this year. That won't necessarily mean kicking people out of my life, but it WILL mean freely telling people that I can't participate in their madness -- and whatever that means is what it means.