What Happens When You Can't Help It

This update is horridly overdue.

For any number of reasons.

Including how I've been slippin on my pimpin' as of late. I need something to get me in gear -- an acceptance letter to the school I applied to 3+ months ago would do the trick. ::sigh::

So way back when, I told ya'll about the old friend who may have been interested, but was beating around the bush and dragging his feet. I ended it with a pseudo-cliff hanger because I was supposed to call him back that night.

Let me skip a lot of boring and frustrating details and hip you to the meat of the matter:

He's still dragging and beating.

When I called him, he didn't want to talk about it. He got off the phone with me promising to call me back.

At a later time we picked the conversation back up (at, I shan't lie, my nudging) and he pretended not to know exactly what I was talking about. Slowly he regained his memory. First that he sent me leading texts, then that he had wanted to talk about it (how else do you understand "the ball is in your court" to operate in such a conversation?). There was a nervous chuckle, then a sigh and he finally told me what the deal was...

"I was just kidding."

Let me remind you all of our text exchange because I know I'm not crazy...
"What's wrong with me?" he asked.

"I don't know," I told him, "but it's wierd that these girls are doing almost all the work for you, and still nothing."

"That's it! I like the chase. I want to work for the girl."
Before I could ask what brought this on, he text me again,
"My offer still stands"

"Don't you think we skipped a few steps?" I asked, hoping he was just beating this tired old joke.

"That's what the engagement's for. It's love at first sight, I can't help how I feel."

I wasn't upset. Really. All my guy friends told me to let him bring it back up and I didn't exactly follow their advice, and this is what happened. I know better than what I did, but my impatience got the best of me (I like knowing why people do what they do and I really wanted to pick his brain).

Anywho -- I didn't want him to think I was upset, so I continued to talk to him, but honestly -- there was nothing else to say and he surely wasn't helping with all his one-word answers. So I ended the call.

10 minutes later he text me "I feel like such an asshole. I'm really sorry Odd text, I thought, if it was a simple misunderstanding (lots of sarcasm, yes). I responded simply, "It's not a problem. I just didn't want it ever said I ignored someone."

We've exchanged a handful of texts since then. I broke the ice, because I know he was avoiding texting me thinking really was upset.

I suppose the lesson is a reaffirmation that people do what they do on their own time. You can wait on them to get ready or you can keep it pushing. I always have and even moreso now, encourage folks to do the latter. If you start waiting on people, you give them control to decide what happens in your life and when. So not a good look.


CareyCarey said...

Here's something my daughter told me. It was in reference to me asking someone a question that had an obvious answer. She said, "dad, don't make a lier tell a lie"

A side note, texting and "tweeting" are robot like reactions. They require no human emotions. Robots have no feeling, they just mimmick words.

Based on our previous conversation, I know you may feel differently, but keep on living :-)

A.Smith said...


I see your daughter takes after you in some regards. :) I agree with her (and you) -- don't make a liar tell a lie and in fact, I can't STAND to be lied to, especially without provocation -- so I try to avoid putting people in situations where they have to lie. Sometimes, though, you don't know where the mines are. But that's for another (maybe the next) post.

You and I actually may agree more about texting and twitter than you think. Where we differ is most likely in usefulness. I think our society overuses both when it comes to personal things. Twitter/texting shouldn't be the only way you keep up with people you know personally, but folks do it all the time (I do it, even.).

We can hide behind tweeting and texting. Eminem once said "a lot of truth is said in jest" and I agree wholeheartedly. When you're joking, you don't have to take full ownership of the things you say. I think that goes over to arenas like texting and tweeting. We don't have to own those words the way we do when we say things via phone or face to face. We can type something out, read it, analyze it, edit it and then share it. Not the same with verbal or f2f communication.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Beyond using electronic communication for verifying a meeting time and place, I'm not a fan of it for social interaction.

Call this nigga and ask him out on a date. Not a sit in the movie and stare at the screen date either, or across from one another chewing food. Something where the two of you play. Ya know, interact. Dance. Hike. Bike. Bowl. Etc.

If he asks why, say just because, and during the date, just enjoy the moment.

Dang. I've been screwing around writing a related post for over a week now and still haven't gotten it together. Tonight I will try to finish it.

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