I Believe In You

One thing my weekly installments of this story I'm telling about my experiences with my ex probably won't delve too deeply into is my ex's drug use. He actually had a very serious addiction to a very bad drug. It caused a lot of problems in his life, between us and even in my life. In the end, when the extent and seriousness of his addiction finally became plain for everyone else (because I'd known it for a while) his parents shipped him cross country for drug rehab. At one point he asked me if I still believed in him. I didn't know how to answer, I'd never thought about it. He told me point blank that he didn't feel he had a reason to try if I no longer believed in him. That was the first time I ever considered what it might mean to believe in someone.

Right after she crossed, a friend of mine asked me if I was proud of her... I had trouble answering because I wasn't proud, but I wasn't disappointed. It was a decision she made for herself that I wasn't a part of which was absolutely fine, but with something like that, having no dog in the fight it was hard for me to answer that.

And then today, the BFF reads my status: At 22, I know how to make a person think I do believe them when I don't, but at 9 I thought (and, maybe rightly so) that you had to really believe someone to say you did and asks me does that rationale apply for saying you believe IN someone?

I told him I think that what's important to note is that when people ask if you believe in them, they most likely are doing so because they need reassurance. Like when your significant other asks if you love them, when they know you do. They need to hear you say yes and it's not something you should lie about.

I feel as if I do little things all the time, unintentionally mostly, to reaffirm for my friends that I do believe in them. I've always been taken aback by the question because I've never thought about the answer and I rarely think about the answer because it seems so obvious... of course I believe in you... why wouldn't I?

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