I Need to Get Out of this Box

This morning, my status says:
Don't put me in a box. Give me a chance to be different than I used to be and make choices I haven't made before (though on occasion they may just be actions and choices you've never seen me do or make).

In high school I had a friend who hated being predictable. She got some sort of joy out of knowing that she led you to think she'd do one thing but ended up doing something completely opposite. It seemed she enjoyed this so much that she would go out of her way to see this happen.

The problem was, in a lot of cases, she was predictable -- perhaps because I had gotten to know her pretty well. I figured out that if I told her I knew what she was going to do, she'd always switch it up; if I left well enough alone and especially if I acted surprised at her doing exactly what I thought she'd do -- my predictions usually came to fruition.

Now, these weren't out of the ordinary things. It wasn't like I was predicting her life; they were simple things like me following up her telling me she had done something with "oh, I knew you'd do that..." or if (for example) she walked into class and I handed her a pen saying "I bet you don't have one..." -- those types of things seemed to really irk her.

I never understood it and found it extremely frustrating feeling like I couldn't express how well I felt like we knew each other. I feel like we're all looking for people who can get to know us very well and know the things that make us tick and make us happy; the things that bring joy to our lives as well as frustrate us.

This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I start thinking back to a conversation I had yesterday. In that conversation a friend made a comment about my future, definitively. This morning it occurred to me that I didn't like how she put me in a box; how she used a few choices I've made in the past to tell me what my future would look like; essentially I didn't like that she wasn't leaving it open for me to change and be different.

As I started thinking about how I might turn this into a blog post (because we all know, I'm looking for my blogging steeze) I remembered how I felt about my friend who didn't like being predictable -- but I still felt like my issue wasn't the same as hers. It doesn't bother me when my mom calls me while I'm packing for a trip and asks "did you remember to pack socks?" because she knows I usually do forget.

I started a new school in the 8th grade. During one of my first weeks there, I walked up on a group of students and joined their conversation by asking them what they were talking about. One of the girls said, "Oh, we're talking about a band you probably wouldn't know about..." From her tone of voice, I could tell she didn't really mean anything by it, but I was still slightly offended. Give me a chance to tell you what I do and don't know, I thought. They band they were talking about was Fleetwood Mac and because I had an unhealthy obsession with all things VH1 at that time, I knew a fair amount about Fleetwood Mac. Years later, after this girl and I had become really close, I reminded her of this story. She denied it, probably having a hard time believing that she would've ever doubted that I had a knowledge of music that crossed stereotypical boundaries.

My issue begins when people don't let me be new. We're all learning, everyday, and sometimes we're lucky enough to realize that what we've been doing, be it for a few days or a few years, just isn't working and we're ready to do something else. I want to feel like no one's got me pegged for anything -- that's how we miss out on opportunities to try something new -- it's bad enough we box ouselves in, but aren't our friends supposed to be the ones trying to open our eyes to new possibilities?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Now open to everyone! Leave a comment -- let me know what you think.