Series on Monday

This (never ending) story is true. Happened to me between 2002 and 2007.

Refresh yourself

Part 11

When JD and I spoke again he continued to apologize to me for what he had done. I was determined to do a better job of looking out for myself, so I secretly swore that I’d make JD work for it, if I was what he truly wanted.

As the end of my first year of college came near, I began advising JD on what he should do about his schooling situation. His parents had given him until July to decide whether to go back to my alma mater or stay at his new school. He had made a few friends at the new school, including, ironically, another boy who had been put out of our school, thanks to JD ratting him out. I told him that our school could offer him better college prep and more challenging classes than the school he was attending.

Ultimately, he chose to remain at his new school. I didn’t understand why because he told me he had gone to great lengths to avoid making friends in the event that he left. Overnight, he popped up with a new crew, namely two students, Lucy and Isaiah. If JD was out, he was with them. Getting him to answer the phone suddenly became next to impossible. This was in stark contrast to when I couldn’t get him to leave me alone.

As the summer progressed, I found myself once again drawn to the idea of our relationship getting serious. One day, JD drove the 2 hrs to my city to spend the day with me. At first, things were great. We saw a movie and had dinner. I’d met him at a public place and we’d driven in my car to the restaurant. While we ate, the subject of our future once again popped up. Our conversation took an awkward turn and I suggested we go back to my house to talk about things calmly.

Calm never happened. We argued all the way to my house. JD seemed to be upset with me for bringing the topic back up and his attacks put me on the defensive. Once at my house, JD demanded that I take him to his car. He wanted to leave and he didn’t want me to call him. He said he needed some time to think about what was going on.

I pretended like I was just as angry and just as ready for a break, but inside I was breaking. I didn’t want him to stop talking to me, I wanted us to work through it. I wanted us to find our common ground and I wanted us to begin the process of having the relationship I was so sure was in our future.

As soon as he got out of my car, I broke down. I could barely see as I drove home for all the tears.

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