Things We Don't Apologize For: Being Ourselves

Yesterday: Never apologize for making more money than your man, you work hard and you deserve to get paid.
Today: Never apologize for being you!

In the 3rd installment of this series, I jumped the gun a bit. To summarize the post, I said

I think that's the point of it all. All of these things you shouldn't apologize for because that's you not focusing on you. Instead, by apologizing, you're making things that affect you about the people around you when they are not

It's already hard in this world to be who you are. People want so much from us, they want us to change, to be different. They want us to suck that in, lift that up, and alter that thing over there. It's so hard finding people that only want you, and nothing less. I told a friend, the guy for me wants me -- 100% me and he won't settle for (or be attracted to) anything less.

Left Eye once said,

Be me and do what I believe and to be myself, and, I suggest everyone do the same thing; do what makes you feel comfortable, do what makes you feel happy...

It's been a quote I've tried to live by in one way or another and that's what I think these 25 things we don't apologize for really goes back to. I said it before, and I'll say it now, never apologize for who you are. There are some of these things that even I need to work on, but ultimately as long as I don't apologize for who I am, at my core, I'm doing alright. I'm doing better than a lot of us.

The black blogosphere has been abuzz with talks of Helena Andrews and her yet-to-be-finished book "Black Is the New Bitch." Everyone has an opinion. Some women see themselves in her story, others are already critical of who she is and her opinion and even others are just tired of discussing the plight of the single, educated and bougie black woman. There is one thing she's quoted as saying in the Washington Post article that discussed her and her book that I took to immediately, if only for it's frankness. "I'm a mean woman. I don't date nice people. That's why I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I will always have to settle." She could probably stand to work on being mean, but she recognizes that and guess what? She accepts what it is. I know there are things about me (like my sarcasm) that turn people off, but I've learned that I'm ok with that. If you don't like my sarcasm, that's fine, we're not good fits for each other's life.

Be happy with who you are and if you're not happy, make changes for self, not for anyone else. Don't apologize for who you are, it's a sure waste of time. Find the people who don't want you to apologize; those are the people you need. The rest will come and go and your life will be just fine.

Ok. Well, this is the end of this series. Hope everyone who read it found at least a few gems to take with them. If you missed any, go here to read them all.

I'm out of here until the new year, barring some amazing need to share deep thoughts (but more than likely, I'll write drafts and post them in 2010). But there's always Twitter!