Things We Don't Apologize For: Our Paycheck

Side note: I wrote this post yesterday and never published it. I'll have the final installment of our series up this afternoon

Yesterday: Never apologize for making a decision from your heart, even if others don't agree. You have to live with the consequences not them.
Today: Never apologize for making more money than your man, you work hard and you deserve to get paid.

I'm a public servant with a paycheck that reflects as much. I don't have any experience with making so much money that it causes a problem within a relationship; however, there are a few basic ideas we can take away from this tenament.

In our society, we reward work with money. Ideally, how much you make reflects how hard you work (though we can all think up people who don't make enough and others who make too much). Apologizing for your salary suggests you think you don't deserve it because you don't work hard for it. I highly doubt that's the case for any of us.

Money in a relationship is a sticky situation though. Generally, men like to feel they are providing for the people they care for. Men who work like the
idea that the work they do puts food on their families table. When someone they're supposed to be caring for brings home most of the money, it's as if they're contributions are neglected.

I'm reminded of an obscure episode of Family Matters, Carl has trouble accepting that his wife Harriett makes more money than he and so he finds a part time job so that he can bring home the larger paycheck. (FFWD to 4:28)



It seems ridiculous but for as progressive as our society feels it is, we still expect men to be breadwinners and when they aren't, people sometimes draw negative conclusions.

We should all look to be with someone who can celebrate with us in our successes just as well as they support us in our failures. If your man (or woman) can't be happy for you because you have a good job that pays well and would rather focus on the fact that you make more than them, then you should find someone else.

We also shouldn't lord our earnings over anyone. "I make the money, so you'll do as I say..." The other person deserves respect and shouldn't be expected to bend to any whim just because you bring home "the bacon."

Make your money, honey and don't say you're sorry.

Finally.... (We'll let what the last thing is be a surprise)