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12.04.2009

Things We Don't Apologize For: Our Hair

Yesterday: Never apologize for asking for what you want. If you don't, then who will?
Today: Never apologize for wearing a weave or braids. You bought it so it's yours.

In the black community, we put a lot of focus on our hair. Some black women easily spend thousands of dollars a month (yes, I did say a month) just on their hair. It's a necessary line item in most black women's budget. We care a lot about how our hair looks. Whether it's natural or not, I'd venture to say there isn't a black woman alive who doesn't care how her hair looks, at least some of the time.

I've never understood people who apologize for what they do to their hair, just like I don't understand people who judge it. The black blogosphere is ripe with the natural vs. weave/permed/non-natural hair debates. There are those who think if your hair isn't natural, it's not right and there are those who think if your hair is natural, it's unkempt and nasty. Major and unnecessary assumptions.

Listen, how you do your hair is of no concern to me. I can support a woman who chooses a close crop, just like I can support a woman who adds extensions to make her hair longer and just like I can support a woman who's afro is huge. What we have to be careful of is letting our hair define us. You are who you are with or without your hair, and though we care about it and though many of us put countless hours and dollars (well, we could count the dollars and hours but I don't think we want to) into it, our hair does not define us (let's all break into a chorus of I Am Not My Hair). Feeling the need to apologize for your hair suggests it has some sort of identifying capabilities and it surely does not.

The other crazy thing about apologizing for your hair is, who are you apologizing to? Seriously. Just think about that one.

Aight, no more apologizing for your hair. It's yours and you'll do with it just.as.you.please.

Monday: Never apologize to your new friends about old friends. There's a reason she's been your girl from day one.

1 comment:

BrownEyedPanther said...

Well said. I just have one gripe with hair. Regardless of what it is - natural, fake, afro, extensions, etc. - please make it look presentable. Make it look good. If you had to buy it then make it look like yours. If it doesn't look good or look like it flows naturally and/or is yours then I'm afraid you've wasted your money.

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