Things We Don't Apologize For: Not Cooking

Yesterday: Never apologize for demanding respect. You are to always be treated as a queen.
Today: Never apologize for not knowing how to cook. Even if you can't burn like Grandma you know how to order good take out.

A few days ago, OneChele at Black 'n Bougie posed 5 questions that she answered and encouraged her Bougie Readers to answer. One of the questions was "What are your thoughts about women who don't cook? Do you cook?" My answer was
I don't have a strong opinion on poeple who don't cook. You should at least be able to sustain yourself; there's no need to be a gourmet chef unless you work in a restaurant, but to be completely incapable of pulling together at least one full meal (main dish + at least 2 side dishes/casserole equivelent = full meal) is problematic. I think all men and women should be able to cook SOMETHING.
I think everyone should know how to cook something. ANYTHING. But if you don't, don't apologize for it! Go find a simple recipe and go from there.

I can't burn in the kitchen like my mom can, but I do well enough to still be alive. I love men who can cook. A mentor of mine, who's like a father figure, does the cooking in his family. I remember the first time I went over to his house and he cooked dinner; I thought it was just because I was there -- but as I grew closer to his family, I learned he was the chef in the house. One day I asked him why. He told me, I asked my wife what household chore she hated the most because that's the one I would do exclusively. She said cooking, so I cook. I thought that was too precious and I've since fallen in love with the idea of marrying a man who can cook. I realized how tied I was to the thought when I began dating a guy earlier this year who can't really cook.
"Hey. You should come over tomorrow and we'll watch a movie and make dinner."

"Ok. Sounds like a good plan." jokingly, I added, What are you going to make?"

"Um. I don't know. What do you think? Truth is, I can't really cook at all."

record scratch
I'm not dating him, anymore.

Ok, the truth is, I'm not dating him anymore because he'll be living in another country in less than a month -- I don't do long-distance relationships that have to exist as such for longer than 1 year and this would be at least 3, maybe more. But I won't lie -- when he said that he can't really cook the record did briefly scratch. Ultimately, I found it kind of cute that he suggested we make dinner (and he did help) even though he couldn't cook.

What was ultimately a good thing was his willingness to learn and not to sit back and expect me to do all the cooking. He wanted to help. He didn't apologize for not knowing how, which I respected, but he did throw himself out there to be taught and you can't frown your nose up at that.

Monday: Never apologize for your taste in clothes. It's your style.


Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Hey A. Smith, I swung by last night but was too tired to leave comments. Nice series you're continuing.

About cooking. Anyone who can read a recipe can cook! Whenever I eat at someone's house and something is really good, I ask them for the recipe. A lot of people don't measure but will give you an idea.

Cooking and making great sandwiches or salads for work is also a way to save oodles of money. If time is a problem though, then it's hard because you have to wake up 15 minutes earlier, or wash dishes afterwards. I've learned how to make a lot of quick easy meals, though, and wash as I go.

You know how the record scratched for you when the guy admitted he can't cook? Magnify that feeling 10x for men.

No apology is needed, but one would probably go in one ear and out the other anyway. I AM old fashioned in some areas, Smith, so forgive me, but I feel the same way about a man who can't change a tire or the oil. It's like WTF?

Anyway, hope you don't mind a little disagreement in this post; otherwise I find myself thinking, yeah, she's on point here! Oh well. See you around!

A.Smith said...

Kit, I love a good dialogue and the best ones come of quality disagreements.

I have to say, I was hesitant on this one. I don't mean to suggest not knowing how to cook is ok. I tried to go for a suggestion that as long as you're trying to learn, apologies/embarrassment isn't necessary.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Great! I'll be over for din-din and won't mention the burned toast!

LOL, just messin' wit ya! I get it. :)

A.Smith said...

I love people who use "din-din"

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