Check Yourself...

Subtitled: I'm going all the way in, cause it's all the way live...

Some good friends of mine -- more like family -- ok, their whiteness aside, if you saw us out, you'd SWEAR they were my family (parents, brothers...) have fallen prey to both our ridiculous economy and some subpar individuals and they lost their home. While I was home this weekend, I spent half my day helping them move their stuff to a storage unit (the first half of my day was spent in the E.R. -- kidney stones -- worst pain EVER).

In talking to them, I was reminded of a people-habit I can't stand. I call it the "Hit Dogs Holler" syndrome (license pending). If you throw a lone rock into a pack of unsuspecting dogs, whichever dog got hit will holler...

There's really only one person responsible for Edward (not his real name) losing his job and thus being unable to pay the mortgage on the family home (and it's not Edward). However, there are A TON of other people who know what happened and aren't asking questions...

But what those people ARE doing is calling the family and asking a lot of leading questions and making a lot of out of line statements.

Sarah (not her real name) broke it down for me like this:

They call and they ask how we are. Then they ask how the job hunt's coming. And when I tell them we lost our house because we were promised payments we never received, they get really quiet and suddenly don't want to talk about it.

But there are others who are so determined to "identify" with what we're going through. They talk about how they lost their job once or how they went through a really rough time, but the thing about it is, they didn't lose their homes, they were able to draw unemployment because their boss paid into the system. They were able to stay afloat. They can't identify with what we're going through.

I ask them, "did you lose your home? No. You didn't. So shut up"

My favorite people, though, are the ones who call like they want me to absolve them of their part in what happened. So many people know the truth, but won't step up to the plate and they call me like I'm supposed to understand. I don't.

Why can't people hear you're going through a struggle and just say they're sorry? Or say they understand this is difficult?

But more than that, what's with people who know they did you wrong calling you and wanting you to act like everything's ok?

One more case...

I had a status up once -- maybe facebook, maybe gchat -- that expressed my anger at people who take, take, take and never give. I think I said something like, "before you ask someone to do something for you, try to think of the last time you did something for them, and if they happen to tell you 'hell no' you'll already know why."

I got a LOT of phone calls/texts/emails off that. Some of them had explanations for why they do that (take take take), others all but said, "were you talking about me..."

A friend of mine and I talked about how when people pipe up because of statuses they read, it's usually a good sign they're a guilty party and they know it.

Maybe it's human nature to read something negative, recognize ourselves in it, and feel the need to seek someone to absolve you of your "sins" but... we gotta get that together. If you're sorry, say that. If you're not -- well, that's cool. Keep it pushing, though. I can't proclaim I hate selfish people then tell you that it's ok for you to be selfish. That's ridiculous.

"Hit Dogs Holler" syndrome is rampant and I'm sure all of us have fallen ill with at some point or another (myself included) but can we work on getting our booster shots and quit with the #foolishness?