Please Let Me Breathe

I've been bumping this song for a LONG time and I always listen to it when I'm having "one of those days..." and I never knew there was a video until I went looking for it on youtube. The video kinda made me feel better.

I've noticed in the past couple of days one of my co-workers, who is also a friend, acting really stand-offish. She's sorta moody, from time to time, but I suppose we all are. I know I have bad days sometimes, and when that happens, you don't want to cross me.

I could tell she was upset with me, but felt like it was her place to say something to me. And I have to admit, as much as I didn't want to let it, it starting getting to me. I mean, we're friends, right? Why can't you just say "alright, you upset me when you did...." I mean, am I asking for a lot? Anyway... when I started this post, it was just going to be about how frustrating it is to know someone is upset with you but not know why.

I should clarify here that I piss people off regularly. I know that. So I'm usually aware and ready to cop a "mea culpa" or at least admit to what I did. But in this case, I was at a total loss. Just last night I was telling one of my other friends "this makes no sense. I really didn't do anything..."

Enter her timely e-mail (can I say I hate when people do shit like this via e-mail? I mean if we're really friends, you'll at LEAST call me, right? And we work together. Asking me to go on a walk wouldn't be that hard, right? Ok, anyway back to what I was saying...)

Apparently she told me she was sick sometime last week and I responded by saying "sweet" and according to her I realized that wasn't the right thing to say which made her feel like I wasn't paying attention. Then when she didn't come into work towards the end of the week, I apparently didn't show enough concern and took too long to finally notice she was sick.

Let me say something here: Whenever a friend of mine is sick, I'm usually good about calling to check up on them. She has been no exception. So excuse me if I had a lapse of whatever and it didn't occur to me to call and inquire about her well-being. The irony here, I think, is that I started to call her but didn't because I figured if she was out for 2 days it was serious otherwise... we all don't feel well and take a day off but 2 days and I figured it would be serious. When she was at work the next day, I figured all was ok. I was wrong and apparently she was pissed at me even then.

In any case, I apologized. I didn't feel like it was worth it to argue about it. She says she tried to tell me and I didn't pay any attention and since I can't remember the setting or what might have been distracting me, I can't argue that. And, the truth is, I AM sorry if I hurt her feelings. I think what I'm really upset about is how she sent me an e-mail and let this go on for almost a week before she said anything.

Whatever happened to the people in your life who knew you well enough not to take themselves so seriously? I mean when I didn't ask her about how she was feeling this ONE time, what did that say to her? I think if the roles were reversed I might have been a little surprised, but not upset. I surely would've said something -- even if it was jokingly -- but I guess everybody doesn't live life like I do, huh?

I mean, you know, if this was something I did regularly, I think being upset would be in order. If she tried calling me and I never answered, I think being upset would be in order. But you know... it is what it is... I learned my lesson.