My Aspirations

I was just thinking about this earlier today (okay, earlier yesterday...) without knowing I'd be doing a blog post on it.

I've never really been one of those people with long-term plans. My mom always asks "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I hated that question 5 years ago, and I hate it now. Maybe it's because I feel like I should, but don't have an answer. Or maybe it's because I don't have an answer and I don't like feeling judged for that. She always tells me that if I don't have a plan, I'm destined to fail, and we know I'm afraid of failure, right?

I'm open to things happening as they do. It's how I've been exposed to so many different things and been able to meet so many different people. Some of the best things that have ever happened to me, happened because I somehow ended up in the right place at the right time and was open to the opportunity.

Now, is that to say that if I had a 5 year plan I couldn't still be open to that stuff? Nope, but it sure doesn't inspire me to get out there and come up with a plan.

Now don't get me wrong, I have dreams and goals. We've talked about all that stuff. But my aspirations? Where I see myself in 5, 10, 15 years? That's a whole other ball game that I haven't exactly suited up to play. I don't know, maybe I have commitment issues or maybe I"m just flat out lazy. In this "grinding" society we live in these days, where people spend more time talking about how much they hustle and grind than actually hustling and grinding, it's easy to feel like you're not about anything if you're not "grinding." I'm here to tell you, it's just not true. I've done more in my 23-soon-to-be-24 years than a lot of people twice my age who claim they've been grinding since before they were born! Of course, I don't mean to diminish any accomplishments of anyone -- I think we see right here in the blogosphere what grinding can mean. Several bloggers went from no-names to having red carpet events doubling as their birthday parties and bringing out big name stars. If you want it, get after it... and yet, for as much as I'm behind all that, it just doesn't translate well into my world

I actually prefer to frame it as just being wide-eyed and fancy free. In Christianity, it's a big freaking deal to be doing God's will. To be in tune with his plan for your life. Doesn't mean you know what the ultimate plan is, but it means that when God says move, you jump to it. That's actually not all that easy to do, but sometimes I wonder if maybe all that grinding and hustling just ain't necessary all the time, if'n you're on the path you're supposed to be on. Not that there won't be challenges and mountains and walls and all types of things but maybe those stumbling blocks just appear instead of you having to go after them. Maybe I lost you in this one...

In any case, where do I see myself in 5 years? I don't know. Making a difference somewhere, I hope. Hell, I could be married by then with 2 kids (let me erase that... I can't be speaking stuff into existence all willy nilly like 'at)... But I do know that where I am right this minute is exactly where I'm supposed to be and so that gives me a good feeling for where I'll be in 5, 10, 15 years from now...

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