Something I Miss

Remember this post? I still miss all those things, but I think I'm better at distinguishing between what I miss and what I think will just make everything "right" again. Or rather, I can distinguish when I'm legitimately missing a way my life used to be and when I wish I had it back just so things could be less whatever they are in that moment.

And yes, I still miss high school and undergrad and predictability in my life.

I genuinely miss J. As I'm moving through my counseling classes and learning about pacing clients, helping them find their own holding environments and so forth, I'm realizing that in a lot of ways, J acted as a holding environment for me. I'm realizing more and more the things about me that he seemed to intuitively understand without me having to explain the way I have to explain to so many, now.

I miss having my idiosyncrasies without consequence. :)

I don't miss J without remembering that it was for the best that things between us ended the way they did, but I would love to have him around, now, as a friend who just got it. I don't know for sure that that would be possible, but I would've loved to have had a shot at it.