Thoughts to End 2010

2010 was an interesting year. Major changes in my life this year. I quit my job and came back to school. I lost an uncle who was very important to me. I've been forced to actually deal with my ex's death. I've gained some friends, and wish I'd lost others. Felt the ease of knowing that you're doing what you were created to do and the discomfort of not being sure what the hell is going on.

However, as I read back through my posts from this year, I find myself having some of the same feelings I had at the end of 2009. Feelings and thoughts I swore I wouldn't take into 2010 and I guess I did, but did a damn good job of acting like they weren't there. So I sit here, a little upset with myself, but really trying my best to work through these things for real so that 2011 can be a great year for me.

I don't want to still be mad about the same stuff I've been mad about for years now. I'm ready to get through some of this baggage so I can start being the best person I know how to be. One way I can do that is to acknowledge that though 2010 really had some awfully shitty moments for me personally, it also had some SUPER awesome moments that I should hold on to and move into 2011 with. I can take my lessons from the shitty times and be thankful for the good moments.

2011 will be challenging. I already know that, as I look to what I need, but don't have yet, to make it through the year. However, I'm also going to complete 2 more of the 4 semesters necessary to get my Masters, in 2011, I'm going to expand my talents, be open to amazing opportunities and, hopefully people. I'm going to be in counseling, as required by my degree program so I know that will yield some interesting results. I'm excited for all the things 2011 can be. I went into 2010 unsure of things. I knew I was ready to move to the next thing, but I was definitely playing loose and fast with how to move to the next thing. While I'm all about flying by the seat of one's pants, I'm realizing that sometimes, having a plan isn't such a bad idea.

So let's see how this goes, shall we? Here I come, 2011 -- ready or not...