Selfish

I've talked about the relationship my BFF and I have, before. I discussed it in terms of whether or not a male and female can have a truly platonic relationship. I was happy to see Damon at This May Concern You talk about it in his open letter to "People Who Think My BFF Is The One." His letter is the epitome of how I feel about J (my BFF).

I'm going to visit him for his b-day next month (I actually leave a week and one day from today). I'm so excited. We lived together our last semester of college and so I've gone from seeing him everyday to not seeing him now, for 11 months. It was a slap in the face when we realized we'd been so busy we hadn't seen each other.

I was telling someone I was going to have to break J of his selfish habits. When it comes to me, he doesn't like sharing. Most people think he's joking when he tells them they can't see me because it's our time, but he's really serious. Usually he relents when I point out the err of his ways, but if I let it go, J will fight to the bitter end. Last night, however, I realized I'm the same way. I'm very selfish when it comes to him. I'm actually going back to his city (New Orleans) for Essence Festival with 3 or 4 friends, one of which is a mutual friend (J actually introduced me to this friend). She'll want to see J, but I'll probably nix that and sneak off and spend time with him by myself.

Some of you might think this is unhealthy or indicative of some deep-seated feelings J and I may have for each other, but I think it's more that we truly value each other and our time together and don't see why we should have to share (we're also both only children).

That same friend I told I needed to break J of his selfishness is the same mutual friend. She said "well, sometimes we all need to be selfish, right?" I'm reminded of her words now as I know that some of my friends are starting to get upset with me for not returning phone calls or text messages. I felt bad for a moment, but this time is for myself. Sometimes, we have to be selfish.