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3.23.2009

Series on Monday

Refresh your memory

Part 2

One summer evening, I was in the car with 3 of my closest friends doing what we had made a habit of doing that summer -- nothing. At one point while we sat in a fast food drive-in, I noticed no one was talking to me because everyone was on the phone. I picked up my phone and scrolled through the phonebook. Most of the people I would call "on a whim" were either in the car with me or I had just recently talked to or, for one reason or another, I already knew was busy. I got to JD's name in my phone and impulsively hit dial. He was at the movies, he said, and he would call me back when he got to his friend's house. I hung up sure he wouldn't call back and so I was surprised to see his name scrolling across my Caller ID.

We talked for about an hour. We discussed his relationship during the previous school year and how I was upset that he hadn't told me. He claimed ignorance of the fact that I still had such strong feelings for him. I questioned his relationship with the girl and he admitted he was using her for the opportunities it presented. He told me he was taking a family trip to Italy the following week and would like us to pick up the discussion about where our future was headed when he returned. I hung up the phone confused. In a matter of what seemed like minutes, I had gone from being calloused towards him to ready to talk about a serious relationship.

This conversation, though we spoke in the interim, didn't actually happen until sometime at the beginning of what was my last year in high school. We had dinner together and we discussed what it would mean for us to date. Ultimately we decided it wasn't a good idea. He said he went home too often and would feel like he was neglecting me. I told him that with it being my last year of high school, I didn't want anything tying me down. While I meant that, I left the conversation feeling a little disappointed, though I couldn't really pinpoint why.

The semester went on with me playing like I agreed with the conversation we'd had, but inside knowing it was bothering me. I threw the prospect of us dating out a few more times and was met with the same explanation. He didn't want to forego spending time at home -- though I said that that didn't bother me. I found myself trying to keep distance between us, but it didn't work. There was something about him that I was drawn to.

In the meantime, my best friend met a guy and had started dating him. I hadn't gotten a chance to really meet him so in the early part of the second semester we decided to go on a double date. I brought JD along and he acted like my boyfriend the entire night. I couldn't really fault him, but I thought that he would continue with the way he had been acting. To be fair to him and honest, I was really just irked that he took this opportunity in front of my friend to play the role but couldn't, or maybe wouldn't, commit otherwise. By the end of the evening we were in a local park. My friend and her boyfriend had found somewhere private and I sat on a bench next to JD dropping hints and fuming everytime he ignored it. Finally, I sent my friend a text that said "meet me at the car."

JD could tell I was irritated. I had all but completely stopped talking to him. As we were getting in the car, he came over to the driver's side and whispered in my ear, "is everything ok? are you mad at me?" Calmly, I responded "I'm fine. I think this is the last time we should hang out..." JD was shocked and asked me if I was serious. When I didn't respond, he grabbed me and started tickling me. "Take it back!" he kept shouting. I hate being tickled so I quickly complied. As soon as he got to his side of the car. I looked him in the eye and said, "I meant what I said." For the next three days, I ignored his phone calls. Sure, I was being juvenile, but I was also young and I thought it was the only way to get his attention. He called me regularly over the weekend and by Monday afternoon, I decided to throw him a bone...

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