I went on a hiatus for a minute. You can read some about it here -- I may do a post on what it was all about.
Last night was my first evening "plugged back in." I was on the phone, texting, checking facebook, on twitter, etc... Of course I had a lot of texts to return and one was to a male friend of mine. We'll call him Jared.
My background with Jared is... umm... not easy to explain. But we've never dated and never slept together. For all intents and purposes we're just friends. ::blink, blink::
Right before my technological unplug, I learned he'd gotten a new phone and was looking for numbers. I text him my number and he never responded.
When I turned my phone back on, his text was one of the first I got. It was simple "Hey Ash. How are you?"
When I text him back, I pre-empted the obvious question by telling him I'd had my phone off for a few days and I was sorry for missing his text. "Too many dudes calling?" he asked.
We went back and forth for awhile before he sent me a random one that just said "kiss, kiss"
Ok.
In one of our previous conversations he said something jokingly about coming to visit, so I asked him about it.
Me: So when are you coming up to DC to visit?
Jared: Idk. You got half on a ticket?
Me: ::blink, blink::
My BFF wouldn't ask me to pay for half of his ticket to DC to visit. And though this isn't about chivalry or men/women roles, I'll add that he (my BFF) would offer to pay for my ticket/pay for my ticket if I asked.
But the crickets came from a place of trying to understand why I would even consider paying for half his ticket.
Because I really want you to come?
Because I owe you?
Because -- well, that's all I got.
After playing a couple of rounds on Mario Kart, I decided to respond with "I'm moving back home soon -- gotta save for that..."
"Ok," he said.
And like all our other convos, that was the end of that. Awkward, huh?
But as I've shared that short portion of our exchange with people, I've started to feel more and more "some type of way" about it.
Like why would you ask me that, in the first place. No, really?
One of my friends tells me I over-analyze things. I don't agree -- I just like knowing why people do what they do. It's what get's me in trouble because I press people. I don't want your prepped answer, I want the real and most times the only way to get the real is through subversive tactics.
So, I legitimately entertain foolishness, searching for "the bottom." I'll have to be honest, I rarely find it -- but that doesn't stop my search.
But there's an implication to a question like that that I struggle to put my finger on and I think that's what's got me feeling "some type of way." Maybe, just maybe, I have some ideal of how things should progress with us, if they're going to progress at all (in this moment, I don't care so much about progression as much as process(ion)) and maybe I think the way he seems to be trying to progress is indicative of some unacceptable assumptions.
Assumptions like he can have something that he can't.
Or that I'm a typer of person that I'm not.
Am I being vague and euphemsitic enough for you?
Anyway, as usual, I'm just processing all this, so I'll update you if I come up with something concrete.
4.28.2010
4.25.2010
Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes
I'm pausing a self-imposed "break" from life for this post... I'll be back, in some form or fashion, sometime later this week...
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, we've not seen anyone like Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes before or since her death. I say that as a stan, but also because it is very true. It's unfortunate that her genius is often overshadowed in the telling of her life's story by failed relationships and mistakes in personal choices. We forget that she was the creative force behind TLC from the condoms they wore in the early days to the set design on their Fanmail tour, which happened to be the last tour they did as a trio.
Sometimes I wonder if Left-Eye's genius ever would have truly been celebrated and recognized. Shortly before her death, she had signed to Suge Knight's Tha Row records and was recording under the pseudonym "N.I.N.A." which stood for "New Identity Not Applicable." We all know that while Death Row Records at one time ran the music business with regards to gangsta rap, we also all know that Suge Knight had a way of picking artists at their low points and screwing them over in the end.
But, we won't dwell on what wasn't, only what was. Check out a few of my favorite Left-Eye raps below...
You can also go here to read more of my thoughts...
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, we've not seen anyone like Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes before or since her death. I say that as a stan, but also because it is very true. It's unfortunate that her genius is often overshadowed in the telling of her life's story by failed relationships and mistakes in personal choices. We forget that she was the creative force behind TLC from the condoms they wore in the early days to the set design on their Fanmail tour, which happened to be the last tour they did as a trio.
Sometimes I wonder if Left-Eye's genius ever would have truly been celebrated and recognized. Shortly before her death, she had signed to Suge Knight's Tha Row records and was recording under the pseudonym "N.I.N.A." which stood for "New Identity Not Applicable." We all know that while Death Row Records at one time ran the music business with regards to gangsta rap, we also all know that Suge Knight had a way of picking artists at their low points and screwing them over in the end.
But, we won't dwell on what wasn't, only what was. Check out a few of my favorite Left-Eye raps below...
You can also go here to read more of my thoughts...
4.17.2010
Guest Post: SWPD
I've done another guest post for one of my favorite blogs, Stuff White People Do
I attended undergrad in Nashville, Tennessee. I wouldn't normally disclose that, but Nashville is often called the Athens of the South because of all the colleges and universities there. Nashville has 20 of them, ranging from an auto diesel college to one of the premiere private universities in the nation. Therefore, it would reason that if I tell you I went to school in Nashville, you would ask me which one -- there are so many possibilities, the odds of you guessing correctly are clearly not in your favor.Read the rest of the post here
My current job requires that I frequently meet with people, mostly white, from the great state of Tennessee. They're often a little surprised (I can see it in their faces) when they meet me. Between my race-neutral name, race-neutral pattern of speaking (of course, we know that while I say "race-neutral," both my name and the way I often speak are characterized as "white"), people often show up expecting to see someone of a far lighter hue than me. I also lack a noticeable southern accent, though I was born and raised there, so people will often question me about where I'm from. I always say, "I was born and raised in Chattanooga and went to school in Nashville."
A handful of people will nod and move on, but the vast majority of them follow that question up with, "where did you go to school?" and far too many of those people continue by answering for me, "TSU?"
4.05.2010
Check Yourself...
Subtitled: I'm going all the way in, cause it's all the way live...
Some good friends of mine -- more like family -- ok, their whiteness aside, if you saw us out, you'd SWEAR they were my family (parents, brothers...) have fallen prey to both our ridiculous economy and some subpar individuals and they lost their home. While I was home this weekend, I spent half my day helping them move their stuff to a storage unit (the first half of my day was spent in the E.R. -- kidney stones -- worst pain EVER).
In talking to them, I was reminded of a people-habit I can't stand. I call it the "Hit Dogs Holler" syndrome (license pending). If you throw a lone rock into a pack of unsuspecting dogs, whichever dog got hit will holler...
There's really only one person responsible for Edward (not his real name) losing his job and thus being unable to pay the mortgage on the family home (and it's not Edward). However, there are A TON of other people who know what happened and aren't asking questions...
But what those people ARE doing is calling the family and asking a lot of leading questions and making a lot of out of line statements.
Sarah (not her real name) broke it down for me like this:
But more than that, what's with people who know they did you wrong calling you and wanting you to act like everything's ok?
One more case...
I had a status up once -- maybe facebook, maybe gchat -- that expressed my anger at people who take, take, take and never give. I think I said something like, "before you ask someone to do something for you, try to think of the last time you did something for them, and if they happen to tell you 'hell no' you'll already know why."
I got a LOT of phone calls/texts/emails off that. Some of them had explanations for why they do that (take take take), others all but said, "were you talking about me..."
A friend of mine and I talked about how when people pipe up because of statuses they read, it's usually a good sign they're a guilty party and they know it.
Maybe it's human nature to read something negative, recognize ourselves in it, and feel the need to seek someone to absolve you of your "sins" but... we gotta get that together. If you're sorry, say that. If you're not -- well, that's cool. Keep it pushing, though. I can't proclaim I hate selfish people then tell you that it's ok for you to be selfish. That's ridiculous.
"Hit Dogs Holler" syndrome is rampant and I'm sure all of us have fallen ill with at some point or another (myself included) but can we work on getting our booster shots and quit with the #foolishness?
Some good friends of mine -- more like family -- ok, their whiteness aside, if you saw us out, you'd SWEAR they were my family (parents, brothers...) have fallen prey to both our ridiculous economy and some subpar individuals and they lost their home. While I was home this weekend, I spent half my day helping them move their stuff to a storage unit (the first half of my day was spent in the E.R. -- kidney stones -- worst pain EVER).
In talking to them, I was reminded of a people-habit I can't stand. I call it the "Hit Dogs Holler" syndrome (license pending). If you throw a lone rock into a pack of unsuspecting dogs, whichever dog got hit will holler...
There's really only one person responsible for Edward (not his real name) losing his job and thus being unable to pay the mortgage on the family home (and it's not Edward). However, there are A TON of other people who know what happened and aren't asking questions...
But what those people ARE doing is calling the family and asking a lot of leading questions and making a lot of out of line statements.
Sarah (not her real name) broke it down for me like this:
They call and they ask how we are. Then they ask how the job hunt's coming. And when I tell them we lost our house because we were promised payments we never received, they get really quiet and suddenly don't want to talk about it.Why can't people hear you're going through a struggle and just say they're sorry? Or say they understand this is difficult?
But there are others who are so determined to "identify" with what we're going through. They talk about how they lost their job once or how they went through a really rough time, but the thing about it is, they didn't lose their homes, they were able to draw unemployment because their boss paid into the system. They were able to stay afloat. They can't identify with what we're going through.
I ask them, "did you lose your home? No. You didn't. So shut up"
My favorite people, though, are the ones who call like they want me to absolve them of their part in what happened. So many people know the truth, but won't step up to the plate and they call me like I'm supposed to understand. I don't.
But more than that, what's with people who know they did you wrong calling you and wanting you to act like everything's ok?
One more case...
I had a status up once -- maybe facebook, maybe gchat -- that expressed my anger at people who take, take, take and never give. I think I said something like, "before you ask someone to do something for you, try to think of the last time you did something for them, and if they happen to tell you 'hell no' you'll already know why."
I got a LOT of phone calls/texts/emails off that. Some of them had explanations for why they do that (take take take), others all but said, "were you talking about me..."
A friend of mine and I talked about how when people pipe up because of statuses they read, it's usually a good sign they're a guilty party and they know it.
Maybe it's human nature to read something negative, recognize ourselves in it, and feel the need to seek someone to absolve you of your "sins" but... we gotta get that together. If you're sorry, say that. If you're not -- well, that's cool. Keep it pushing, though. I can't proclaim I hate selfish people then tell you that it's ok for you to be selfish. That's ridiculous.
"Hit Dogs Holler" syndrome is rampant and I'm sure all of us have fallen ill with at some point or another (myself included) but can we work on getting our booster shots and quit with the #foolishness?
4.01.2010
Control Issues
Belle did a post recently where she talked a little about having control issues. One thing that resonated with me was when she said,
I didn't finish the comment, because I couldn't flush it out very well.
In fact, I still can't, but...
I have been doing some recent thinking on controlling things. See, I'm a big believer in focusing on what you CAN control, instead of what you can't.
Recently, I was planning a trip with two friends. My history with individual trip planning with both of these people was pretty non-existant, but I felt like they would be the type to back out on me at the last minute. I've experienced this a lot, actually, and I do my best to avoid the situation.
As I exepcted, things started to get a little spotty with details. I was venting about the situation to a third friend and she told me that she was surprised that I was even entertaining this talk. I explained to her why -- and the point of what I said was, I can control myself.
See, the worst case scenario was, both friends backed out and I was stuck holding a non-refundable plane ticket. Fine by me, I told my friend. I could take my rental car and drive home and spend a weekend with my mother. However the other trip they wanted to plan -- out to LA -- I wasn't in on, because if they backed out on that, I'd be stuck with a non-refundable $300 ticket to a place where I would know no one (well, no one I'd want to see).
I was willing to take that risk because I could control myself and I focused on the things within it that related to me. I didn't spend any time worried (though I did get irritated) about them and what they were or weren't doing.
In the past 2 days, I've had a similar piece of advice for three friends. Focus on what you can control.
One friend feels dissed by a guy she's interested in. She can't control who he likes or what he does about it, but she can control how she allows what he does to effect her.
A second friend recently had yet another fight with someone she cares about. This guy is a real jerk and obviously has no concern about her and how she feels. She can't control his jerk tendencies, but she can control how she allows those tendences to effect her.
The third friend really likes a girl who says she likes him back, but lately -- he's been getting the cold shoulder. He can't control what she does, but he can control how that effects him.
It's not easy, really. If somebody does something to hurt your feelings, it's expected that you will be upset. But how long are you upset? How much of the getting over it part do you leave up to the other person. Do you sit around waiting on them to apologize, or do you forgive them and move on? You can control yourself -- you can't control them. Leaving how you feel and what you do completely up to them gives them all the control and if they were jerkfaces enough to hurt you -- odds are they're too much of a jerkface to apologize (or otherwise try to right the wrong).
The logic goes: I only trust you not to mess up because I trust me to look out for myself. Unless I'm with my mother, I look both ways before I cross the street. I trust her not to mess up. At least when it comes to my safety. Unless I am with my father, I always carry a credit card or my debit card. I trust him not to mess up. At least when it comes to the finances.I started up a reply that asserted that I agree with her on that, but still don't really think of myself as having control issues.
I didn't finish the comment, because I couldn't flush it out very well.
In fact, I still can't, but...
I have been doing some recent thinking on controlling things. See, I'm a big believer in focusing on what you CAN control, instead of what you can't.
Recently, I was planning a trip with two friends. My history with individual trip planning with both of these people was pretty non-existant, but I felt like they would be the type to back out on me at the last minute. I've experienced this a lot, actually, and I do my best to avoid the situation.
As I exepcted, things started to get a little spotty with details. I was venting about the situation to a third friend and she told me that she was surprised that I was even entertaining this talk. I explained to her why -- and the point of what I said was, I can control myself.
See, the worst case scenario was, both friends backed out and I was stuck holding a non-refundable plane ticket. Fine by me, I told my friend. I could take my rental car and drive home and spend a weekend with my mother. However the other trip they wanted to plan -- out to LA -- I wasn't in on, because if they backed out on that, I'd be stuck with a non-refundable $300 ticket to a place where I would know no one (well, no one I'd want to see).
I was willing to take that risk because I could control myself and I focused on the things within it that related to me. I didn't spend any time worried (though I did get irritated) about them and what they were or weren't doing.
In the past 2 days, I've had a similar piece of advice for three friends. Focus on what you can control.
One friend feels dissed by a guy she's interested in. She can't control who he likes or what he does about it, but she can control how she allows what he does to effect her.
A second friend recently had yet another fight with someone she cares about. This guy is a real jerk and obviously has no concern about her and how she feels. She can't control his jerk tendencies, but she can control how she allows those tendences to effect her.
The third friend really likes a girl who says she likes him back, but lately -- he's been getting the cold shoulder. He can't control what she does, but he can control how that effects him.
It's not easy, really. If somebody does something to hurt your feelings, it's expected that you will be upset. But how long are you upset? How much of the getting over it part do you leave up to the other person. Do you sit around waiting on them to apologize, or do you forgive them and move on? You can control yourself -- you can't control them. Leaving how you feel and what you do completely up to them gives them all the control and if they were jerkfaces enough to hurt you -- odds are they're too much of a jerkface to apologize (or otherwise try to right the wrong).
3.31.2010
Needy
We're all in need of something, from time to time. Especially with regards to human contact. We need to be loved, need to know we're loved; need to feel wanted, need to know we're wanted, etc...
It's ok to need and to express that need.
But when does being in need become being needy?
This morning, I checked my facebook,as I do regularly, and a friend of mine who recently left the DC area had a status that said she was missing her DC friends/life. There were 5 comments and 3 comments echoed the 1st comment which was, essentially, "What about us?"
Cue Total...
She didn't say that she didn't miss her TN friends -- she was just feeling nostalgic about where she's spent the last 3 years of her life.
I mean, that's like me talking about how much I miss undergrad (and I do) and someone from high school saying "what about high school??" I mean, really? I just did undergrad -- makes more sense that that's what I miss.
It's that need to be acknowledged in the most random of places that I can't deal with. Seriously -- do you not have friends you can call up and talk to and be reassured that someone out there loves you? And can you not do that without being so painfully needy?
Why do people do that? What's with the constant need to be acknowledged? I wouldn't be surprised if I called my friend right now and she told me those people she hasn't spoken to in months, which means they probably haven't thought enough about her to call (nor she, them). But because they weren't acknowledged, they had to make a stink about it.
My patience for the needy is and always has been low. I give and give, but you need to calm down. I'll give you what I got when I got it. Make sense?
It's ok to need and to express that need.
But when does being in need become being needy?
This morning, I checked my facebook,
Cue Total...
She didn't say that she didn't miss her TN friends -- she was just feeling nostalgic about where she's spent the last 3 years of her life.
I mean, that's like me talking about how much I miss undergrad (and I do) and someone from high school saying "what about high school??" I mean, really? I just did undergrad -- makes more sense that that's what I miss.
It's that need to be acknowledged in the most random of places that I can't deal with. Seriously -- do you not have friends you can call up and talk to and be reassured that someone out there loves you? And can you not do that without being so painfully needy?
Why do people do that? What's with the constant need to be acknowledged? I wouldn't be surprised if I called my friend right now and she told me those people she hasn't spoken to in months, which means they probably haven't thought enough about her to call (nor she, them). But because they weren't acknowledged, they had to make a stink about it.
My patience for the needy is and always has been low. I give and give, but you need to calm down. I'll give you what I got when I got it. Make sense?
3.30.2010
Fighting
2 scenarios (one should sound awfully familiar)...
Anthony works in a pretty tight career field. That is everyone who has is job knows each other and are competitive. His ex, Karen, is amongst this group as is one of her good friends, Tamara. Anthony and Tamara have begun spending lots of time together. Anthony is interested and Tamara seems to be as well, but she has pause. After all, Karen's her girl and though she seems to have easily moved on from Anthony, Tamara doesn't want there to be any bad blood between them. One night, things between Anthony and Tamara escalate and they have sex. Afterwards, Anthony felt good about the way things were headed, but in the ensuing days and then weeks, he heard hide nor tail from Tamara. They went from communicating with each other frequently, to not talking at all. Anthony wonders if he should press the issue, because he really really likes Tamara and thought she felt the same, or keep it pushing. After all, she quit responding to him...
Kayla's known Evan for years. They've both always flirted with each other and she didn't think much of it. A few months ago, Evan pushed the envelope a little bit and seemed to be more serious about his advances than before. Kayla, not wanting things to get awkward ignored his advances until he all but laid it on the line. However, when she tried to talk to him about it, he initially dodged the issue and then outright denied that he was doing anything but harmlessly flirting. Kayla knows better, but feels like unless he's ready to be real about it, it's not her problem...
The question for both of these situations/scenarios is, is "fighting" worth it.
I'm Kayla (no duh, right?) and my friend is Anthony. We both seem to agree that relationships take work and sometimes require a little more effort..."fighting" However, he tells me I'm not a fighter because I don't see the point in belaboring an issue on the front end. If we're a few months into something and we hit a rough patch (as all relationships do), I'm ready to hike up my pants and get to work and I hope my s/o is too. However, I'm not fighting you to be in a relationship with me. Not on the front end. If you can't put forth the effort in the beginning of the relationship, then I can already tell what it's gonna be like when we hit that rough patch.
Anthony, on the other hand, sees glory in fighting from the beginning. Putting in that work on the front end, it seems, validates the relationship in his eyes. Proves that he's "down to ride" (as it were). After all, if you're the type to hit the ground running, then I guess it's safe to assume that whatever rough patches we might hit will be nothing with you on board.
What say you... are you only a fighter if you're willing to fight from the very beginning, or is there merit in waiting for a reason?
Anthony works in a pretty tight career field. That is everyone who has is job knows each other and are competitive. His ex, Karen, is amongst this group as is one of her good friends, Tamara. Anthony and Tamara have begun spending lots of time together. Anthony is interested and Tamara seems to be as well, but she has pause. After all, Karen's her girl and though she seems to have easily moved on from Anthony, Tamara doesn't want there to be any bad blood between them. One night, things between Anthony and Tamara escalate and they have sex. Afterwards, Anthony felt good about the way things were headed, but in the ensuing days and then weeks, he heard hide nor tail from Tamara. They went from communicating with each other frequently, to not talking at all. Anthony wonders if he should press the issue, because he really really likes Tamara and thought she felt the same, or keep it pushing. After all, she quit responding to him...
Kayla's known Evan for years. They've both always flirted with each other and she didn't think much of it. A few months ago, Evan pushed the envelope a little bit and seemed to be more serious about his advances than before. Kayla, not wanting things to get awkward ignored his advances until he all but laid it on the line. However, when she tried to talk to him about it, he initially dodged the issue and then outright denied that he was doing anything but harmlessly flirting. Kayla knows better, but feels like unless he's ready to be real about it, it's not her problem...
The question for both of these situations/scenarios is, is "fighting" worth it.
I'm Kayla (no duh, right?) and my friend is Anthony. We both seem to agree that relationships take work and sometimes require a little more effort..."fighting" However, he tells me I'm not a fighter because I don't see the point in belaboring an issue on the front end. If we're a few months into something and we hit a rough patch (as all relationships do), I'm ready to hike up my pants and get to work and I hope my s/o is too. However, I'm not fighting you to be in a relationship with me. Not on the front end. If you can't put forth the effort in the beginning of the relationship, then I can already tell what it's gonna be like when we hit that rough patch.
Anthony, on the other hand, sees glory in fighting from the beginning. Putting in that work on the front end, it seems, validates the relationship in his eyes. Proves that he's "down to ride" (as it were). After all, if you're the type to hit the ground running, then I guess it's safe to assume that whatever rough patches we might hit will be nothing with you on board.
What say you... are you only a fighter if you're willing to fight from the very beginning, or is there merit in waiting for a reason?
3.28.2010
Top 30 Under 30
If you live/work/play in the DMV area, see below and mark your calendars...
For Immediate Release Contact: Corey Ponder 202-642-4287
March 20, 2010 info@capitalcause.com
**Press Release**
Inaugural Reception Will Honor 30 Young Professionals in DC Area
Reception brings accomplished professionals, networking opportunities, and civic engagement under one roof for attendees
Washington, D.C. — Capital Cause in conjunction with the NMC Consulting Group will hold a reception honoring the Top 30 Under 30 Young Professionals in the Washington DC Metropolitan Area on Wednesday, March 31, 2010.
The event, which will include live jazz music by The Marcus Mitchell Project and Art by J Stacy Utley, will honor 29 young professionals within the Washington, DC Metropolitan area who have excelled in the areas of business, government, politics, education and the arts and were recognized by WKYS as a Top 30 Under 30. Capital Cause and the NMC Consulting Group will also announce the 30th honoree, who will be selected by their peers, from a pool of more than 30 nominations throughout the region.
The reception will include remarks by elected officials, business and community leaders, Jamal Simmons, CNN Correspondent and will include a resolution from the Council of the District of Columbia and a proclamation from the Mayor of the City of Alexandria honoring their awardees.
What: Capital Cause and NMC Consulting Group Present Top 30 Under 30 Reception
Who: Top 30 Under 30 Honorees:
Honorees include: Washington Redskins’s Devin Thomas; Mike Winans, Jr.; Natalie M. Cofield; Harold B. Pettigrew, Jr.; “Coach K” Amleset G. Kidane; Shawn Hay; Shayna Yvonne Rudd; Ryan Richmond; Pharoh Martin; William Lance Blake; Stephen Conti; Fred Howze III; Kimberly Smith; Courtney Maria Savoy; Avery Leake’ Lawrence Elliott Ball; Vallyn Lea Smith; Anthony Dale; Ryan J. Davis; Dontae Cunningham; Kimberly N. Wilson; Anthony Ajayi; Frank A. Bryant; Renaldo A. Chapman; Victoria “Shaqwana” Davis; Mahogany Woodland; Shanel Thomas; Marcus Mitchell.
Jamal Simmons, CNN Correspondent (confirmed)
Elected Officials
Business & Community Leaders
Where: Midtown Lofts, 1219 Connecticut Avenue, NW, WDC, 20009
When: March 31, 2010 – 6:30pm to 9:30pm
To RSVP: To purchase tickets or for more information regarding the event, please visit
www.capitalcause.com, or call/email Corey Ponder at 202-642-4287 or info@capitalcause.com.
A $20 advanced ticket grants attendees access to an enticing buffet, live music, art on display, and a wealth of networking opportunities.
About Capital Cause:
Capital Cause is an organization dedicated to engaging young professionals in the giving process. Capital Cause succeeds in doing this by organizing fundraisers, learning programs and financial literacy courses. Capital Cause will also competitively award grants to young professionals who are small business owners or graduate school students.
About the NMC Consulting Group, Inc.
NMC Consulting Group, Inc. is a boutique consulting firm that specializes in business development, public affairs and program management. The organization aims to effectively support its clients by developing and enhancing economic development, entrepreneurship, and community‐related programming. For more information, please visit www.nataliecofield.com.
###
For Immediate Release Contact: Corey Ponder 202-642-4287
March 20, 2010 info@capitalcause.com
**Press Release**
Inaugural Reception Will Honor 30 Young Professionals in DC Area
Reception brings accomplished professionals, networking opportunities, and civic engagement under one roof for attendees
Washington, D.C. — Capital Cause in conjunction with the NMC Consulting Group will hold a reception honoring the Top 30 Under 30 Young Professionals in the Washington DC Metropolitan Area on Wednesday, March 31, 2010.
The event, which will include live jazz music by The Marcus Mitchell Project and Art by J Stacy Utley, will honor 29 young professionals within the Washington, DC Metropolitan area who have excelled in the areas of business, government, politics, education and the arts and were recognized by WKYS as a Top 30 Under 30. Capital Cause and the NMC Consulting Group will also announce the 30th honoree, who will be selected by their peers, from a pool of more than 30 nominations throughout the region.
The reception will include remarks by elected officials, business and community leaders, Jamal Simmons, CNN Correspondent and will include a resolution from the Council of the District of Columbia and a proclamation from the Mayor of the City of Alexandria honoring their awardees.
What: Capital Cause and NMC Consulting Group Present Top 30 Under 30 Reception
Who: Top 30 Under 30 Honorees:
Honorees include: Washington Redskins’s Devin Thomas; Mike Winans, Jr.; Natalie M. Cofield; Harold B. Pettigrew, Jr.; “Coach K” Amleset G. Kidane; Shawn Hay; Shayna Yvonne Rudd; Ryan Richmond; Pharoh Martin; William Lance Blake; Stephen Conti; Fred Howze III; Kimberly Smith; Courtney Maria Savoy; Avery Leake’ Lawrence Elliott Ball; Vallyn Lea Smith; Anthony Dale; Ryan J. Davis; Dontae Cunningham; Kimberly N. Wilson; Anthony Ajayi; Frank A. Bryant; Renaldo A. Chapman; Victoria “Shaqwana” Davis; Mahogany Woodland; Shanel Thomas; Marcus Mitchell.
Jamal Simmons, CNN Correspondent (confirmed)
Elected Officials
Business & Community Leaders
Where: Midtown Lofts, 1219 Connecticut Avenue, NW, WDC, 20009
When: March 31, 2010 – 6:30pm to 9:30pm
To RSVP: To purchase tickets or for more information regarding the event, please visit
www.capitalcause.com, or call/email Corey Ponder at 202-642-4287 or info@capitalcause.com.
A $20 advanced ticket grants attendees access to an enticing buffet, live music, art on display, and a wealth of networking opportunities.
About Capital Cause:
Capital Cause is an organization dedicated to engaging young professionals in the giving process. Capital Cause succeeds in doing this by organizing fundraisers, learning programs and financial literacy courses. Capital Cause will also competitively award grants to young professionals who are small business owners or graduate school students.
About the NMC Consulting Group, Inc.
NMC Consulting Group, Inc. is a boutique consulting firm that specializes in business development, public affairs and program management. The organization aims to effectively support its clients by developing and enhancing economic development, entrepreneurship, and community‐related programming. For more information, please visit www.nataliecofield.com.
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What Do You See in the Mirror?
There's no mirror like the mirror you get in a relationship. Having someone to show you all your faults on a pretty consistent basis can be pretty healthy, but definitely become annoying over time.
I've been wondering how to replicate that in our more regular and average relationships. Last night, a friend and I talked about how much we hate being taken for granted. Of course, this topic isn't new for us as I've talked about it before. We started talking about how people can be so selfish and never think about us, while we're spending a lot of time being concerned about them and their feelings.
I asked him a question that I still don't have an answer for, what are we going to do about it? He was silent for a moment, and then he said,
Eventually I mentioned that I wished I could treat some of the people in my life the way they treat me. I told him I couldn't because these people would probably stop being my friend. "the thing about it is, I explained, "they would swear that's not what they do. They wouldn't even see it. I would show them their reflection in the mirror and they would deny the accuracy."
I've been in situations where a friend will reach out to me in some way -- perhaps make a leading statement that I know is them fishing for sympathy. I'll play the game, give the sympathy... and then later, just to see what they'll do, I'll also make a similar, if not the same, leading and searching statement. Consistently, I'm surprised at how they DON'T respond in kind. ::shrug:: I don't get folks...
We never came to a satisfactory conclusion on how you show people what they do to you. Maybe you guys got something...
I've been wondering how to replicate that in our more regular and average relationships. Last night, a friend and I talked about how much we hate being taken for granted. Of course, this topic isn't new for us as I've talked about it before. We started talking about how people can be so selfish and never think about us, while we're spending a lot of time being concerned about them and their feelings.
I asked him a question that I still don't have an answer for, what are we going to do about it? He was silent for a moment, and then he said,
I don't know. It feels like there's nothing we can do. We can't control these people.There was silence on this end, so I quickly followed up,
No, we can't. But we can control how what they do effects us.
I know that's easier said than done...I laughed and we kept talking.
He cut me off-
You're damn right that's easier said than done! You made it sound like it's like making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Just go make the sandwich and you'll be aight...
Eventually I mentioned that I wished I could treat some of the people in my life the way they treat me. I told him I couldn't because these people would probably stop being my friend. "the thing about it is, I explained, "they would swear that's not what they do. They wouldn't even see it. I would show them their reflection in the mirror and they would deny the accuracy."
I've been in situations where a friend will reach out to me in some way -- perhaps make a leading statement that I know is them fishing for sympathy. I'll play the game, give the sympathy... and then later, just to see what they'll do, I'll also make a similar, if not the same, leading and searching statement. Consistently, I'm surprised at how they DON'T respond in kind. ::shrug:: I don't get folks...
We never came to a satisfactory conclusion on how you show people what they do to you. Maybe you guys got something...
3.16.2010
Mind Your Words
Over the last few days I've done a lot of re-reading on my Myers-Briggs Personality type, as well as a friend of mine's. We are exact opposites. I'm ESFP and she's INTJ (makes remembering our types easy, though).
One thing that I've read consistently in all the ESFP analysis is that people with personalities like mine can often take criticism too personally. I've discussed here and here, for example how bad I know I am with criticism. I'm not quite as bad as some of the personality explanations suggest someone who is an ESFP might be, but I think a lot of that is because I try to be cognizant of my knee-jerk reaction to criticism.
My friend's personality type, on the other hand, repeatedly mentions that people like her do well with criticism. It's true and is one thing I like and envy about her.
I'm going somewhere with this, so hold on...
Last night a friend of mine took me out to eat to celebrate my getting into grad school. On the way there we talked about eating and body image and other yucky stuff. I told her that I remember something my mom said to me once when I was younger...
I was pretty average in size until early middle school. I don't have any specific story to explain why I started gaining weight, but I was a chubby middle schooler and I've grown into an overweight adult. My mother is big into nutrition and health (she has a degree in the former). So I've gone a lot of my life dealing with her nagging me about my health habits (or lack thereof). In high school I was required to participate in an after-school activity. For 90% of us that meant a sport and for the rest, that meant a P.E. type class held 3 times each week during what would be our study hall or free period. For 8th, 9th and half of 10th I was a member of the 90% group. I fenced.
I don't know how much any of you may know about fencing, but it is NOT an easy sport to train for. Our coach (who was also my Latin teacher) was serious about us being good, so we trained hard. As a result, I started losing serious weight.
I can remember when a specific shirt I had started to fit a little better and being very proud of the weight I was losing. It felt good to have something to show for my work. I used to sit in one of my favorite chairs while watching TV and flex my calf muscle over and over, giggling at how big it was!
The best part about all of this was the compliments I recieved from people who noticed I was losing weight. At church, at school, with family -- everyone noticed! One evening I was at my Godmother's. My Godmother is the manager of an apartment building for the elderly/disabled and I practically grew up there. She noticed and so did some of the residents, that I'd lost weight.
When my mom came to pick me up, I got another compliment as we headed out of the door. In the car, my mom said what I will never forget...
My mother really isn't like that. I mean, I think about this and that's not in her character to say something like that. Not maliciously anyway. I'm old enough to be logical and think that perhaps she was trying to show me that she hadn't been making it up that I needed to lose weight. Perhaps in some weird way she thought that a compliment. But at the time, and I couldn'tve been more than 13 or 14, it hurt.
I don't know what was said after that -- but I know that 10+ years later, I remember her saying that. I took it as criticism of the utmost degree and it has stuck with me.
A few months ago a friend of mine said something to me that I know was either said without thinking or because she was frustrated at something else that was going on, but it hurt and I noticed today that I've significantly modified my behavior as a result. Nothing anyone would really notice, but I took what she said as criticism and it's sticking with me.
Anyway -- I wonder what other people's catches are. Criticism is mine -- the one type of communication I run into frequently that I have to be conscious of not overreacting to.
Some people are like that about compliments, gifts, percieved miffs, etc...
Anyone got suggestions for me?
One thing that I've read consistently in all the ESFP analysis is that people with personalities like mine can often take criticism too personally. I've discussed here and here, for example how bad I know I am with criticism. I'm not quite as bad as some of the personality explanations suggest someone who is an ESFP might be, but I think a lot of that is because I try to be cognizant of my knee-jerk reaction to criticism.
My friend's personality type, on the other hand, repeatedly mentions that people like her do well with criticism. It's true and is one thing I like and envy about her.
I'm going somewhere with this, so hold on...
Last night a friend of mine took me out to eat to celebrate my getting into grad school. On the way there we talked about eating and body image and other yucky stuff. I told her that I remember something my mom said to me once when I was younger...
I was pretty average in size until early middle school. I don't have any specific story to explain why I started gaining weight, but I was a chubby middle schooler and I've grown into an overweight adult. My mother is big into nutrition and health (she has a degree in the former). So I've gone a lot of my life dealing with her nagging me about my health habits (or lack thereof). In high school I was required to participate in an after-school activity. For 90% of us that meant a sport and for the rest, that meant a P.E. type class held 3 times each week during what would be our study hall or free period. For 8th, 9th and half of 10th I was a member of the 90% group. I fenced.
I don't know how much any of you may know about fencing, but it is NOT an easy sport to train for. Our coach (who was also my Latin teacher) was serious about us being good, so we trained hard. As a result, I started losing serious weight.
I can remember when a specific shirt I had started to fit a little better and being very proud of the weight I was losing. It felt good to have something to show for my work. I used to sit in one of my favorite chairs while watching TV and flex my calf muscle over and over, giggling at how big it was!
The best part about all of this was the compliments I recieved from people who noticed I was losing weight. At church, at school, with family -- everyone noticed! One evening I was at my Godmother's. My Godmother is the manager of an apartment building for the elderly/disabled and I practically grew up there. She noticed and so did some of the residents, that I'd lost weight.
When my mom came to pick me up, I got another compliment as we headed out of the door. In the car, my mom said what I will never forget...
"You know the reason people compliment you on losing weight is because they noticed you were overweight before."Yes. Total record scratch moment.
My mother really isn't like that. I mean, I think about this and that's not in her character to say something like that. Not maliciously anyway. I'm old enough to be logical and think that perhaps she was trying to show me that she hadn't been making it up that I needed to lose weight. Perhaps in some weird way she thought that a compliment. But at the time, and I couldn'tve been more than 13 or 14, it hurt.
I don't know what was said after that -- but I know that 10+ years later, I remember her saying that. I took it as criticism of the utmost degree and it has stuck with me.
A few months ago a friend of mine said something to me that I know was either said without thinking or because she was frustrated at something else that was going on, but it hurt and I noticed today that I've significantly modified my behavior as a result. Nothing anyone would really notice, but I took what she said as criticism and it's sticking with me.
Anyway -- I wonder what other people's catches are. Criticism is mine -- the one type of communication I run into frequently that I have to be conscious of not overreacting to.
Some people are like that about compliments, gifts, percieved miffs, etc...
Anyone got suggestions for me?
3.08.2010
What Happens When You Can't Help It
This update is horridly overdue.
For any number of reasons.
Including how I've been slippin on my pimpin' as of late. I need something to get me in gear -- an acceptance letter to the school I applied to 3+ months ago would do the trick. ::sigh::
So way back when, I told ya'll about the old friend who may have been interested, but was beating around the bush and dragging his feet. I ended it with a pseudo-cliff hanger because I was supposed to call him back that night.
Let me skip a lot of boring and frustrating details and hip you to the meat of the matter:
He's still dragging and beating.
When I called him, he didn't want to talk about it. He got off the phone with me promising to call me back.
At a later time we picked the conversation back up (at, I shan't lie, my nudging) and he pretended not to know exactly what I was talking about. Slowly he regained his memory. First that he sent me leading texts, then that he had wanted to talk about it (how else do you understand "the ball is in your court" to operate in such a conversation?). There was a nervous chuckle, then a sigh and he finally told me what the deal was...
"I was just kidding."
Let me remind you all of our text exchange because I know I'm not crazy...
I wasn't upset. Really. All my guy friends told me to let him bring it back up and I didn't exactly follow their advice, and this is what happened. I know better than what I did, but my impatience got the best of me (I like knowing why people do what they do and I really wanted to pick his brain).
Anywho -- I didn't want him to think I was upset, so I continued to talk to him, but honestly -- there was nothing else to say and he surely wasn't helping with all his one-word answers. So I ended the call.
10 minutes later he text me "I feel like such an asshole. I'm really sorry Odd text, I thought, if it was a simple misunderstanding (lots of sarcasm, yes). I responded simply, "It's not a problem. I just didn't want it ever said I ignored someone."
We've exchanged a handful of texts since then. I broke the ice, because I know he was avoiding texting me thinking really was upset.
I suppose the lesson is a reaffirmation that people do what they do on their own time. You can wait on them to get ready or you can keep it pushing. I always have and even moreso now, encourage folks to do the latter. If you start waiting on people, you give them control to decide what happens in your life and when. So not a good look.
For any number of reasons.
Including how I've been slippin on my pimpin' as of late. I need something to get me in gear -- an acceptance letter to the school I applied to 3+ months ago would do the trick. ::sigh::
So way back when, I told ya'll about the old friend who may have been interested, but was beating around the bush and dragging his feet. I ended it with a pseudo-cliff hanger because I was supposed to call him back that night.
Let me skip a lot of boring and frustrating details and hip you to the meat of the matter:
He's still dragging and beating.
When I called him, he didn't want to talk about it. He got off the phone with me promising to call me back.
At a later time we picked the conversation back up (at, I shan't lie, my nudging) and he pretended not to know exactly what I was talking about. Slowly he regained his memory. First that he sent me leading texts, then that he had wanted to talk about it (how else do you understand "the ball is in your court" to operate in such a conversation?). There was a nervous chuckle, then a sigh and he finally told me what the deal was...
"I was just kidding."
Let me remind you all of our text exchange because I know I'm not crazy...
"What's wrong with me?" he asked.::shrug::
"I don't know," I told him, "but it's wierd that these girls are doing almost all the work for you, and still nothing."
"That's it! I like the chase. I want to work for the girl."
Before I could ask what brought this on, he text me again,
"My offer still stands"
"Don't you think we skipped a few steps?" I asked, hoping he was just beating this tired old joke.
"That's what the engagement's for. It's love at first sight, I can't help how I feel."
I wasn't upset. Really. All my guy friends told me to let him bring it back up and I didn't exactly follow their advice, and this is what happened. I know better than what I did, but my impatience got the best of me (I like knowing why people do what they do and I really wanted to pick his brain).
Anywho -- I didn't want him to think I was upset, so I continued to talk to him, but honestly -- there was nothing else to say and he surely wasn't helping with all his one-word answers. So I ended the call.
10 minutes later he text me "I feel like such an asshole. I'm really sorry Odd text, I thought, if it was a simple misunderstanding (lots of sarcasm, yes). I responded simply, "It's not a problem. I just didn't want it ever said I ignored someone."
We've exchanged a handful of texts since then. I broke the ice, because I know he was avoiding texting me thinking really was upset.
I suppose the lesson is a reaffirmation that people do what they do on their own time. You can wait on them to get ready or you can keep it pushing. I always have and even moreso now, encourage folks to do the latter. If you start waiting on people, you give them control to decide what happens in your life and when. So not a good look.
2.22.2010
Beefs, frenemies and BFFs – the ever evolving challenges of friendship
What's the old saying? "People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime." It's really a feel good statement. It helps us recognize that not everyone is supposed to be in our lives forever. It can keep us on the lookout for those people who, if we let them stick around for awhile, might drain us of all the goodness we can muster in a sometimes not so good world. I mean this is a really good saying, full of all kinds of...uhh... well... stuff that makes clichés good. The only problem with it is it doesn't do the best job of explaining how you know which person fits into which category.
I actually believe we had it right as kids. Do you remember when you were younger and another kid would walk up to you and ask to play with the toy you were playing with and ended their request (which, now that I think about it, was more often a demand) with "I'll be your friend..."? I do. I think we had it right back then. Simple. Very simple. You give me that toy, we'll be friends. You don't give me that toy and we won't be friends. As adults we can hear all the nuances in that. The manipulation, the suggested temporary time limit, etc... but as kids, it was straightforward. When the toy was done with, the friendship had run its course -- unless the two of you found something else you both liked -- then the friendship kept going and if you realized that you seemed to always like doing the same things, well, eureka! Lifelong friend. No muss, no fuss.
Sometime during middle and high school, though, we learned that there's nothing simple about friendships. Your BFF today might be your greatest enemy tomorrow. Your enemy from yesterday? Oh, we like her now. Makes me think of a time in high school...
Check out the entire guest blog post at Black 'N Bougie
I actually believe we had it right as kids. Do you remember when you were younger and another kid would walk up to you and ask to play with the toy you were playing with and ended their request (which, now that I think about it, was more often a demand) with "I'll be your friend..."? I do. I think we had it right back then. Simple. Very simple. You give me that toy, we'll be friends. You don't give me that toy and we won't be friends. As adults we can hear all the nuances in that. The manipulation, the suggested temporary time limit, etc... but as kids, it was straightforward. When the toy was done with, the friendship had run its course -- unless the two of you found something else you both liked -- then the friendship kept going and if you realized that you seemed to always like doing the same things, well, eureka! Lifelong friend. No muss, no fuss.
Sometime during middle and high school, though, we learned that there's nothing simple about friendships. Your BFF today might be your greatest enemy tomorrow. Your enemy from yesterday? Oh, we like her now. Makes me think of a time in high school...
Check out the entire guest blog post at Black 'N Bougie
2.14.2010
Forever
It may not mean nothing to ya'll/But understand nothing was done for me/And I don't plan on stoppin' at all/I want this sh*t forever, manWhy do we talk in terms of "forever"? Why do we make promises about forever? Even when we know better??
I got to thinking about this while watching Season 1 of Lost. There's a flashback scene where one of the characters is sitting in a car listening to a tape she and her "boyfriend" made when they were younger. At one point he predicts their future -- they will be married and have 9 kids, he says on the tape. In fact, that's not what happened. He married another woman (the rest of their story is yet to be shown at this point...)
It made me think of all types of "forever" promises I've made. You mean them when you say them, that's for sure. But why do we ever speak in terms of forever? We know we can't know what's going to happen, things change and even though we may really love someone... forever promises seem so...so..futile.
But how else do you convey to someone how seriously you care for them? Perhaps we talk about forever because that's the only way we know to prove we mean it. "We'll be together forever." -- I don't even want to think about how many times I've said or heard that. I always meant it and believed it, but now -- well right now I feel kinda foolish. Why didn't we ever think that anything is possible and that forever might not be realistic?
One of my friends said,
I personally have always kinda liked the way "forever" sounds ...it just rolls so easily off the tongue ...that is until it starts rolling backwards and chokes you, by the time you spit it out, its gotten much smaller ...the ever's been chopped off and you're stuck adding quantities to the end of "for" just so it doesnt get lonely ..ya know like "for...10 months, for ...15 minutes..."I mean -- that's so on point, I'm not sure I can say much else. It feels good coming out but then it comes back and it never looks the way you envisioned it in your head or heard in your heart when you said it...
Another friend said,
I'm partial to the qualifier "for the foreseeable future" LOL!I'm going to have to follow her lead... cause "forever" may feel good but it hasn't quite worked out for me...
2.04.2010
Whataya Want From Me
This is a rant -- it's of little real helpful substance and all about what's weighing on my po' wittle spirit.
I just don't understand people sometimes.
My friends know me. They do. I've commiserated over this issue over and over and over. Despite feeling like they don't, the truth is, they do.
So can someone explain to me why when they need coddling, or support for bad decisions or co-signs on stupid stuff they call me?
I'm not the one. I'm SO not the one.
But you know, I try to be. I can tell they want someone to pat them on the back and say it'll be ok. They want the "there, there now." So I try to give it to them, but it hurts me to be so ridiculous.
::Deep Breath::
Look -- I'm not going to sit here and let you whine over some mess you've been whining over for 2 years.
You don't like the way your life is going, then CHANGE.
The definition of lunacy is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result everytime.
See I deal with what is. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hard-nosed, hard-line realist. I'm all about discussing options and talking about plans -- but I'm not about the whining. What has whining ever solved?
We all need moments of whining. Sometimes, it just feels "good" to wallow in self-pity but if you do that too long you forget how to function properly.
These people -- they come with the same mess, every day. Scared about their futures, unsure of what lies ahead. Guess what? Nobody knows what's going to happen tomorrow but tomorrow and God. Just wait a daggone minute, it'll be here soon enough.
My favorite part is when they make me feel like the bad guy for not playing the game with them.
Wait. Let me get this straight. You're mad at me because I won't break from my usual responses? You're mad at me for responding to you the way I always respond to you? With frank honesty wrapped in love?? Well -- ain't that some b.s.
I could ramble on this forever, so I'll end with this:
Don't ask me for what I don't have. If you need coddling, call your mama. If you want to have an honest conversation about how to proceed, then I'm all ears because I am not interested in dead-end discussions. Let's make a plan, let's execute and let's be flexible, ummkay? Ummkay.
P.S. This four year old blog post by La at La Bella Vita says it way better than I ever could.
I just don't understand people sometimes.
My friends know me. They do. I've commiserated over this issue over and over and over. Despite feeling like they don't, the truth is, they do.
So can someone explain to me why when they need coddling, or support for bad decisions or co-signs on stupid stuff they call me?
I'm not the one. I'm SO not the one.
But you know, I try to be. I can tell they want someone to pat them on the back and say it'll be ok. They want the "there, there now." So I try to give it to them, but it hurts me to be so ridiculous.
::Deep Breath::
Look -- I'm not going to sit here and let you whine over some mess you've been whining over for 2 years.
You don't like the way your life is going, then CHANGE.
The definition of lunacy is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result everytime.
See I deal with what is. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hard-nosed, hard-line realist. I'm all about discussing options and talking about plans -- but I'm not about the whining. What has whining ever solved?
We all need moments of whining. Sometimes, it just feels "good" to wallow in self-pity but if you do that too long you forget how to function properly.
These people -- they come with the same mess, every day. Scared about their futures, unsure of what lies ahead. Guess what? Nobody knows what's going to happen tomorrow but tomorrow and God. Just wait a daggone minute, it'll be here soon enough.
My favorite part is when they make me feel like the bad guy for not playing the game with them.
Wait. Let me get this straight. You're mad at me because I won't break from my usual responses? You're mad at me for responding to you the way I always respond to you? With frank honesty wrapped in love?? Well -- ain't that some b.s.
I could ramble on this forever, so I'll end with this:
Don't ask me for what I don't have. If you need coddling, call your mama. If you want to have an honest conversation about how to proceed, then I'm all ears because I am not interested in dead-end discussions. Let's make a plan, let's execute and let's be flexible, ummkay? Ummkay.
P.S. This four year old blog post by La at La Bella Vita says it way better than I ever could.
Teach You A Lesson Pt 4
Part 3
Saturday afternoon, there was a knock at Angela’s bedroom door. It opened slowly and Shannon walked in. Angela looked up from her book, surprised to see her.
“Hey girl,” Shannon began.
“Hey yourself. I called you after I got home last night. Why didn’t you answer?” Angela asked.
“I don’t know. I should have. I’m so sorry, Angela. I feel so responsible. I should’ve tried to find you to tell you-“
“Wait. Tell me what? What do you feel responsible for?” Angela asked.
Shannon hesitated. Angela didn't look upset. “Tell you about Nina and Evan. But tell me about your date.” Shannon said, a bit confused.
“Well, firstly, Nina canceled at the last minute so it was just me and Evan.”
Shannon nodded.
Angela continued, “so I met Evan outside of the football practice field and we hopped in his car. On our way to the movies, he asked me if I was tired. I told him I was a little bit and he suggested maybe we should go to his house and watch TV, instead.”
Shannon sighed, her sister warned her about Evan’s tactics. She was sure she knew this story. She nodded her head for Angela to continue.
“I said we could do whatever he wanted. Nina warned me he might want to do something different. Plus, I figured that meant you and I could still go see the movie today. The oddest thing, happened, though.”
“What?” Shannon asked, almost jumping from her chair.
“He smiled at me. Got quiet and then said, ‘Nah. Let’s just go see the movie.’.”
“Huh?” Shannon asked. This wasn’t what she expected.
“Yeah. I know. Weird, right? So we went and saw the movie. He brought me home and that was it. I mean he was such a gentleman which is a little different from what everyone usually says about him. I called you last night because I remembered you had something you wanted to tell me about Nina and Evan and I thought maybe it might explain. I figured maybe he likes her and she’s trying to dump him on me.”
“N-no” Shannon stuttered, very confused. Maybe her sister had lied. “It’s just that my sister told me that everyone in their class knows that Nina is in love with Evan. He asked her out on a date her freshman year and after that one date, she’s been the ice-queen everyone knows her as now. My sister says it’s well-known Evan is a dog and he only takes girls out so he can sleep with them. The faster he can get in your pants, the better and that Evan keeps Nina around because she finds girls for him, especially young ones.”
“Well,” Angela began, “he didn’t do that to me. Maybe your sister was wrong.”
“Yeah,” Shannon trailed off, “maybe she was, but for some reason I don’t really think so. You remember Katie? She went out with Evan once and I heard her in the bathroom crying to her friends about how after that one time, he wouldn’t return her calls or anything. Later, I heard that Nina was the one who set it up.”
“You really think Nina was trying to set me up?” Angela asked.
“I don’t know, only she can say, but this is really weird.”
Angela thought about it for a minute. If Nina was trying to set her up, that would be really bad, but either way she was fine and Evan seemed like a really nice guy.
Angela’s phone rang, then. It was Nina.
“You know what?” Angela asked, but didn’t wait for an answer, “let’s go to the movies now. Whatever Nina wants, she can just leave a message. I haven’t hung out with my best friend in weeks!”
When Angela didn’t answer, Nina smirked to herself knowing the plan was working well. By Sunday, Angela would call her looking for answers and she’d be more than prepared to tell her the truth about the way the world worked.
It was a tough lesson to learn, but someone had to teach it. At least, she thought, Angela would have someone to go to, unlike when it happened to her. Nina recalled feeling so alone after Evan used her. He wouldn’t call her back, he avoided her in the hallway and she knew everyone was laughing at her.
Before she could get upset again, her phone rang. She smiled to herself thinking Angela was calling her back ahead of schedule. She answered without checking the caller ID.
“I really like her,” a familiar male voice boomed over the speaker.
“What?” Nina asked confused. This wasn’t Angela. She looked at the phone’s display. It was Evan! “You really like her?”
“Yeah, man. I mean, you really found a gem for me. There’s something about her. I can’t put my finger on it, but I like her.”
“What?” Nina asked again. “What did ya’ll do last night?”
“Nothing,” Evan admitted, “and it was cool. I just liked hanging out with her. She’s really sweet.”
Nina was shocked. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go at all.
Evan interrupted her thoughts with a new tone. “Look, I gotta go. Angela’s cool, but what’s up with her friend, Shannon? You think I could get with her? You could set that up, too. Just keep your eye on Angela and let me know if any guy tries to approach her. She’s special. I’ll call you later, Nina.” Evan hung up.
Nina didn’t realize he’d hung up for awhile. She sat in her chair with her mouth open. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go at all. When she tried to call Angela again, her phone went straight to voicemail. Furious, Nina threw her phone against the wall and began crying. How could Evan like Angela but not her?
Eventually, Nina stopped crying and started laughing. She felt like she was going crazy but she knew better. There was a lesson in this for her. She should’ve covered her bases better. Angela was too perfect. She’d pick a better target next time – she’d had her eye on Shannon, anyway.
Saturday afternoon, there was a knock at Angela’s bedroom door. It opened slowly and Shannon walked in. Angela looked up from her book, surprised to see her.
“Hey girl,” Shannon began.
“Hey yourself. I called you after I got home last night. Why didn’t you answer?” Angela asked.
“I don’t know. I should have. I’m so sorry, Angela. I feel so responsible. I should’ve tried to find you to tell you-“
“Wait. Tell me what? What do you feel responsible for?” Angela asked.
Shannon hesitated. Angela didn't look upset. “Tell you about Nina and Evan. But tell me about your date.” Shannon said, a bit confused.
“Well, firstly, Nina canceled at the last minute so it was just me and Evan.”
Shannon nodded.
Angela continued, “so I met Evan outside of the football practice field and we hopped in his car. On our way to the movies, he asked me if I was tired. I told him I was a little bit and he suggested maybe we should go to his house and watch TV, instead.”
Shannon sighed, her sister warned her about Evan’s tactics. She was sure she knew this story. She nodded her head for Angela to continue.
“I said we could do whatever he wanted. Nina warned me he might want to do something different. Plus, I figured that meant you and I could still go see the movie today. The oddest thing, happened, though.”
“What?” Shannon asked, almost jumping from her chair.
“He smiled at me. Got quiet and then said, ‘Nah. Let’s just go see the movie.’.”
“Huh?” Shannon asked. This wasn’t what she expected.
“Yeah. I know. Weird, right? So we went and saw the movie. He brought me home and that was it. I mean he was such a gentleman which is a little different from what everyone usually says about him. I called you last night because I remembered you had something you wanted to tell me about Nina and Evan and I thought maybe it might explain. I figured maybe he likes her and she’s trying to dump him on me.”
“N-no” Shannon stuttered, very confused. Maybe her sister had lied. “It’s just that my sister told me that everyone in their class knows that Nina is in love with Evan. He asked her out on a date her freshman year and after that one date, she’s been the ice-queen everyone knows her as now. My sister says it’s well-known Evan is a dog and he only takes girls out so he can sleep with them. The faster he can get in your pants, the better and that Evan keeps Nina around because she finds girls for him, especially young ones.”
“Well,” Angela began, “he didn’t do that to me. Maybe your sister was wrong.”
“Yeah,” Shannon trailed off, “maybe she was, but for some reason I don’t really think so. You remember Katie? She went out with Evan once and I heard her in the bathroom crying to her friends about how after that one time, he wouldn’t return her calls or anything. Later, I heard that Nina was the one who set it up.”
“You really think Nina was trying to set me up?” Angela asked.
“I don’t know, only she can say, but this is really weird.”
Angela thought about it for a minute. If Nina was trying to set her up, that would be really bad, but either way she was fine and Evan seemed like a really nice guy.
Angela’s phone rang, then. It was Nina.
“You know what?” Angela asked, but didn’t wait for an answer, “let’s go to the movies now. Whatever Nina wants, she can just leave a message. I haven’t hung out with my best friend in weeks!”
When Angela didn’t answer, Nina smirked to herself knowing the plan was working well. By Sunday, Angela would call her looking for answers and she’d be more than prepared to tell her the truth about the way the world worked.
It was a tough lesson to learn, but someone had to teach it. At least, she thought, Angela would have someone to go to, unlike when it happened to her. Nina recalled feeling so alone after Evan used her. He wouldn’t call her back, he avoided her in the hallway and she knew everyone was laughing at her.
Before she could get upset again, her phone rang. She smiled to herself thinking Angela was calling her back ahead of schedule. She answered without checking the caller ID.
“I really like her,” a familiar male voice boomed over the speaker.
“What?” Nina asked confused. This wasn’t Angela. She looked at the phone’s display. It was Evan! “You really like her?”
“Yeah, man. I mean, you really found a gem for me. There’s something about her. I can’t put my finger on it, but I like her.”
“What?” Nina asked again. “What did ya’ll do last night?”
“Nothing,” Evan admitted, “and it was cool. I just liked hanging out with her. She’s really sweet.”
Nina was shocked. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go at all.
Evan interrupted her thoughts with a new tone. “Look, I gotta go. Angela’s cool, but what’s up with her friend, Shannon? You think I could get with her? You could set that up, too. Just keep your eye on Angela and let me know if any guy tries to approach her. She’s special. I’ll call you later, Nina.” Evan hung up.
Nina didn’t realize he’d hung up for awhile. She sat in her chair with her mouth open. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go at all. When she tried to call Angela again, her phone went straight to voicemail. Furious, Nina threw her phone against the wall and began crying. How could Evan like Angela but not her?
Eventually, Nina stopped crying and started laughing. She felt like she was going crazy but she knew better. There was a lesson in this for her. She should’ve covered her bases better. Angela was too perfect. She’d pick a better target next time – she’d had her eye on Shannon, anyway.
2.03.2010
Teach You A Lesson Pt 3
Part 2
As always, this is fiction with some basis in truth
The next day at school, Angela didn’t see Nina anywhere. Usually she couldn’t get away from her. Normally this would’ve been a welcomed break, but she was really confused about the last thing Nina said to her on the phone.
Occupied in her own mind, Angela walked right into Evan on her way to her first period class.
“Hi,” he said with a huge grin on his face.
“Hi,” she said. He has eyes I could get lost in, Angela thought.
“So are you pumped for tonight?”
“Uh. Yeah. Sure!” Angela wanted to sound upbeat even though she was very confused.
Evan smiled, “Yeah, Nina dumped this on me last minute, too. I hope you didn't have other plans."
Angela hesitated. She had promised to go see this movie with Shannon, but she didn't want Evan to think she didn't want to hang out. "Oh no. No other plans. It was last minute, but perfect timing." Angela didn't think of herself as a good liar, but when Evans face never changed from that beautiful smile, she figured he bought it.
Ok. Well I’ll see you tonight, then.” Evan said as he walked off.
Before Angela could fully gather her thoughts, Shannon caught up to her.
“So what’s the plan?” Shannon asked.
“We’re meeting up with him and some guy who goes to Havenfield after his football practice and then we’re going to the movies. Angela wants to do some Student Council stuff while we wait.”
“Angela, don’t you think this is so weird? I mean, Evan didn’t even say boo to you before yesterday and now he wants to go on a date with you, but Nina is the one who set it up?”
“Yeah, it is kinda odd. Evan told me he didn't know about it until the last minute either, but surely Nina has some good plan. She just hasn’t told me everything yet.”
“Well,” Shannon hesitated. She had heard some dirt on Nina from her older sister who was in Nina’s class, but she wasn’t sure whether or not she should tell Angela.
“Well what?” Angela asked.
“I’ve been hearing some things about Nina. Her and Evan-“
“Wait. Tell me at lunch. I gotta go talk to Mr. Williams about this paper before class starts!” Angela started jogging towards a tall man at the other end of the hall.
Shannon shook her head. If what her sister had told her was true, Angela was in trouble and she had to make sure she got to her before Nina did.
Shannon looked everywhere for Angela at lunch, but she never saw her. She really wished she hadn’t left her phone in her locker so she could text Angela to meet her before she saw Nina that afternoon.
Meanwhile, Angela had found Nina. Or, rather, Nina found Angela. They were in the Student Council office talking.
“I can’t go tonight.” Nina told Angela.
“Why not?”
“Well, for one, Mark canceled and I don’t want to play third wheel and I have a huge paper due tomorrow that I forgot all about.”
“Can’t we reschedule or something?” Angela asked. She was getting a really uneasy feeling.
“Reschedule? Why would we do that? Evan’s really excited to go out with you. Just go. You’ll be fine.” Nina reassured her.
“Oh. That reminds me!” Angela was finally going to figure out why Nina had made it a point to suggest she bring something nice to wear.
“But wait,“ Nina said, as if she hadn’t heard Angela speak, “there’s something you should know. Evan might not want to go to the movies. If he suggests doing something else, just go with it. Be open, ok?”
“Why would he want to do something else?” Angela asked. This kept getting weird.
“That’s not important, obviously. Evan really likes you and I think he probably wants to settle down and get a girlfriend finally. He’s been telling me how he’s been watching you and he really likes you. He says you’re not like these other girls.”
Angela’s face frowned up a little. She was young but she wasn’t stupid. She didn’t know what was going on.
Nina sensed Angela was hesitating, so she attempted to reassure her. This plan hinged on tonight going smoothly. “All I’m saying is, just be open. Maybe he’ll want to go to the park to talk or something. This could be your chance to rule this school. You and Evan? You guys would be the envy of everyone. Plus, this would give you some credit with my class. I don’t think I want to be President next year and this way you’d be sure to get the position.”
Angela was still unsure, but the truth was, she did like Evan. He was cute and seemed friendly. She had heard some rumors about him, but he seemed like such a nice guy. I could get to know him better she thought.
“Ok, Nina. Thanks for the advice.” She was annoying sometimes, but Angela appreciated that Nina had taken to her and wanted to help her out.
“You better get to class,” Nina said, looking at the clock. As Angela left, Nina thought about her history with Evan. She felt bad for the trap she was sending Angela into, but she knew this would help Angela get ready. If she intended to be anybody in this school, she needed to know you can’t trust everybody.
Part 4
As always, this is fiction with some basis in truth
The next day at school, Angela didn’t see Nina anywhere. Usually she couldn’t get away from her. Normally this would’ve been a welcomed break, but she was really confused about the last thing Nina said to her on the phone.
Occupied in her own mind, Angela walked right into Evan on her way to her first period class.
“Hi,” he said with a huge grin on his face.
“Hi,” she said. He has eyes I could get lost in, Angela thought.
“So are you pumped for tonight?”
“Uh. Yeah. Sure!” Angela wanted to sound upbeat even though she was very confused.
Evan smiled, “Yeah, Nina dumped this on me last minute, too. I hope you didn't have other plans."
Angela hesitated. She had promised to go see this movie with Shannon, but she didn't want Evan to think she didn't want to hang out. "Oh no. No other plans. It was last minute, but perfect timing." Angela didn't think of herself as a good liar, but when Evans face never changed from that beautiful smile, she figured he bought it.
Ok. Well I’ll see you tonight, then.” Evan said as he walked off.
Before Angela could fully gather her thoughts, Shannon caught up to her.
“So what’s the plan?” Shannon asked.
“We’re meeting up with him and some guy who goes to Havenfield after his football practice and then we’re going to the movies. Angela wants to do some Student Council stuff while we wait.”
“Angela, don’t you think this is so weird? I mean, Evan didn’t even say boo to you before yesterday and now he wants to go on a date with you, but Nina is the one who set it up?”
“Yeah, it is kinda odd. Evan told me he didn't know about it until the last minute either, but surely Nina has some good plan. She just hasn’t told me everything yet.”
“Well,” Shannon hesitated. She had heard some dirt on Nina from her older sister who was in Nina’s class, but she wasn’t sure whether or not she should tell Angela.
“Well what?” Angela asked.
“I’ve been hearing some things about Nina. Her and Evan-“
“Wait. Tell me at lunch. I gotta go talk to Mr. Williams about this paper before class starts!” Angela started jogging towards a tall man at the other end of the hall.
Shannon shook her head. If what her sister had told her was true, Angela was in trouble and she had to make sure she got to her before Nina did.
Shannon looked everywhere for Angela at lunch, but she never saw her. She really wished she hadn’t left her phone in her locker so she could text Angela to meet her before she saw Nina that afternoon.
Meanwhile, Angela had found Nina. Or, rather, Nina found Angela. They were in the Student Council office talking.
“I can’t go tonight.” Nina told Angela.
“Why not?”
“Well, for one, Mark canceled and I don’t want to play third wheel and I have a huge paper due tomorrow that I forgot all about.”
“Can’t we reschedule or something?” Angela asked. She was getting a really uneasy feeling.
“Reschedule? Why would we do that? Evan’s really excited to go out with you. Just go. You’ll be fine.” Nina reassured her.
“Oh. That reminds me!” Angela was finally going to figure out why Nina had made it a point to suggest she bring something nice to wear.
“But wait,“ Nina said, as if she hadn’t heard Angela speak, “there’s something you should know. Evan might not want to go to the movies. If he suggests doing something else, just go with it. Be open, ok?”
“Why would he want to do something else?” Angela asked. This kept getting weird.
“That’s not important, obviously. Evan really likes you and I think he probably wants to settle down and get a girlfriend finally. He’s been telling me how he’s been watching you and he really likes you. He says you’re not like these other girls.”
Angela’s face frowned up a little. She was young but she wasn’t stupid. She didn’t know what was going on.
Nina sensed Angela was hesitating, so she attempted to reassure her. This plan hinged on tonight going smoothly. “All I’m saying is, just be open. Maybe he’ll want to go to the park to talk or something. This could be your chance to rule this school. You and Evan? You guys would be the envy of everyone. Plus, this would give you some credit with my class. I don’t think I want to be President next year and this way you’d be sure to get the position.”
Angela was still unsure, but the truth was, she did like Evan. He was cute and seemed friendly. She had heard some rumors about him, but he seemed like such a nice guy. I could get to know him better she thought.
“Ok, Nina. Thanks for the advice.” She was annoying sometimes, but Angela appreciated that Nina had taken to her and wanted to help her out.
“You better get to class,” Nina said, looking at the clock. As Angela left, Nina thought about her history with Evan. She felt bad for the trap she was sending Angela into, but she knew this would help Angela get ready. If she intended to be anybody in this school, she needed to know you can’t trust everybody.
Part 4
2.02.2010
Teach You A Lesson Pt 2
Part 1
Nina had seen Evan’s little exchange with Angela and when he sat down across from her, she glared at him.
“What are you doing?” she asked coldly.
“Nothing. I’m just being friendly.” He responded.
“Well, why don’t you wait until it’s time for that? I haven’t even told her about the plan.” Nina said, still staring a hole into Evan’s forehead.
“What plan?” Evan asked, confused.
“Nothing. Forget I said anything.”
Though Evan was a "hit it and quit it" type of guy, he and Nina had become close after their encounter. He’d been surprised, since he was used to his methods scaring girls away so he could focus on the next one, but Nina didn’t seem to want anything after it was over and they had become friends over time. In fact, as he thought about it, most of the girls he pulled these days fell right into his lap and were friends of Nina.
The bell rang indicating it was time to go to class. Angela and Shannon grabbed their trays and headed to the trash can to dump their food. Shannon was walking a step or two ahead of Angela when Nina slid in front of Angela and took her tray. She glanced at Shannon before she spoke, “Let me take this. Why don’t you meet me out in the hall? I need to talk to you about some Student Council stuff.”
Shannon heard this and turned her head. Angela sent her a look that pleaded forgiveness before she said, “Sure thing, Nina.”
Shannon just shook her head. There was something about Nina’s newfound obsession with Angela that just didn’t sit well with her and she was going to get to the bottom of it.
Out in the hall way, Angela waited impatiently for Nina to come and tell her what was so urgent. She kept watching the clock. She had math with Mr. Anderson next and he hated for students to be late and she still needed to get her books from her locker. Just as she was about to walk off, Nina showed up.
“Sorry about that. I was making sure about the times.”
“Times? For what?” Angela asked, confused.
“Dope Clown Posse 2. Evan and I are going with one of his friends and he wants you to come.” Nina said.
“What?” Angela asked again, still confused.
“Don’t you need to get to class? We’re going to go Thursday after school. Grab a bite to eat and then go to the movies, ok? Trust me. You want to go. This could be big for you.” Nina walked away before Angela could ask her what was going on, again.
That night, Angela relayed the odd exchange with Nina to Shannon over the phone.
“Angela, there’s something about Nina that doesn’t sit right with me.” Shannon confessed.
“What do you mean? I think it’s cool that she wants to be friends with me and I can't say I mind that she wants to hook me up with Evan.”
“I don’t know, man. I’m just saying. And if Evan wants you to go like she said, why didn’t he ask you?”
“Maybe he was afraid I’d say no.”
Shannon could tell she wasn’t going to get anywhere so she changed the focus. “Well who is Nina bringing?”
“That’s a good question. She didn’t say.” Angela’s phone beeped just then. She looked down and saw she had an incoming call.
Shannon sighed. “Go ahead. I know it’s Nina. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Shannon, please don’t be mad. We can still go see a movie together on Saturday!”
“Sure, Angela. Whatever. See you tomorrow.” Shannon hung up.
Angela hated feeling like Shannon was disappointed with her. Even though Nina did seem to have an odd preoccupation with her, she thought she could learn a lot from Nina and looked to her like an older sister. Plus, the more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea of Evan -- even with the rumors she'd heard, she was sure Nina wouldn't let something like that happen to her.
“Hello?” Nina said, unsure. Angela had clicked over, but hadn’t said anything while she thought about her conversation with Shannon.
“Oh. Hey! I’m sorry, I was just sitting here like an idiot. What’s up?”
“I was just calling to give you the details for tomorrow night.” Nina said.
“Great. By the way, who are you bringing?”
“Uhh,” Nina stuttered, “Mark,” she said hurriedly.
“Mark? Mark Jones? The A/V guy?” Angela asked confused. She couldn’t think of any other Mark and surely, she thought, Nina didn’t mean Mark Jones. He was goofy looking and though everyone knew he was in love with Nina, she didn’t seem to know he was alive.
“No. Not him. Mark’s a guy who goes to Havenfield.”
Havenfield was Jackson High’s rival school. Angela was surprised to hear that Nina would associate with anyone who went to Havenfield and that Evan would be ok with them going out together.
“Um. Ok.” Angela responded, unsurely.
“Anyway, so we’re just going to go after Evan gets out of football practice. That’ll be around 6:00. You and I can spend some time going over the submissions for our t-shirt design contest and listen to a few of the bands who want to play at our annual concert.”
Angela sighed inside – even when making plans to have fun, Nina found a way to put work in somehow.
“Ok. Sounds great.”
“Good. See you tomorrow in the Student Council office after school. Bring something nice to wear for Evan.”
“Why would I-“ Nina hung up before Angela could ask why she would want to wear something nice for Evan.
Part 3
Nina had seen Evan’s little exchange with Angela and when he sat down across from her, she glared at him.
“What are you doing?” she asked coldly.
“Nothing. I’m just being friendly.” He responded.
“Well, why don’t you wait until it’s time for that? I haven’t even told her about the plan.” Nina said, still staring a hole into Evan’s forehead.
“What plan?” Evan asked, confused.
“Nothing. Forget I said anything.”
Though Evan was a "hit it and quit it" type of guy, he and Nina had become close after their encounter. He’d been surprised, since he was used to his methods scaring girls away so he could focus on the next one, but Nina didn’t seem to want anything after it was over and they had become friends over time. In fact, as he thought about it, most of the girls he pulled these days fell right into his lap and were friends of Nina.
The bell rang indicating it was time to go to class. Angela and Shannon grabbed their trays and headed to the trash can to dump their food. Shannon was walking a step or two ahead of Angela when Nina slid in front of Angela and took her tray. She glanced at Shannon before she spoke, “Let me take this. Why don’t you meet me out in the hall? I need to talk to you about some Student Council stuff.”
Shannon heard this and turned her head. Angela sent her a look that pleaded forgiveness before she said, “Sure thing, Nina.”
Shannon just shook her head. There was something about Nina’s newfound obsession with Angela that just didn’t sit well with her and she was going to get to the bottom of it.
Out in the hall way, Angela waited impatiently for Nina to come and tell her what was so urgent. She kept watching the clock. She had math with Mr. Anderson next and he hated for students to be late and she still needed to get her books from her locker. Just as she was about to walk off, Nina showed up.
“Sorry about that. I was making sure about the times.”
“Times? For what?” Angela asked, confused.
“Dope Clown Posse 2. Evan and I are going with one of his friends and he wants you to come.” Nina said.
“What?” Angela asked again, still confused.
“Don’t you need to get to class? We’re going to go Thursday after school. Grab a bite to eat and then go to the movies, ok? Trust me. You want to go. This could be big for you.” Nina walked away before Angela could ask her what was going on, again.
That night, Angela relayed the odd exchange with Nina to Shannon over the phone.
“Angela, there’s something about Nina that doesn’t sit right with me.” Shannon confessed.
“What do you mean? I think it’s cool that she wants to be friends with me and I can't say I mind that she wants to hook me up with Evan.”
“I don’t know, man. I’m just saying. And if Evan wants you to go like she said, why didn’t he ask you?”
“Maybe he was afraid I’d say no.”
Shannon could tell she wasn’t going to get anywhere so she changed the focus. “Well who is Nina bringing?”
“That’s a good question. She didn’t say.” Angela’s phone beeped just then. She looked down and saw she had an incoming call.
Shannon sighed. “Go ahead. I know it’s Nina. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Shannon, please don’t be mad. We can still go see a movie together on Saturday!”
“Sure, Angela. Whatever. See you tomorrow.” Shannon hung up.
Angela hated feeling like Shannon was disappointed with her. Even though Nina did seem to have an odd preoccupation with her, she thought she could learn a lot from Nina and looked to her like an older sister. Plus, the more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea of Evan -- even with the rumors she'd heard, she was sure Nina wouldn't let something like that happen to her.
“Hello?” Nina said, unsure. Angela had clicked over, but hadn’t said anything while she thought about her conversation with Shannon.
“Oh. Hey! I’m sorry, I was just sitting here like an idiot. What’s up?”
“I was just calling to give you the details for tomorrow night.” Nina said.
“Great. By the way, who are you bringing?”
“Uhh,” Nina stuttered, “Mark,” she said hurriedly.
“Mark? Mark Jones? The A/V guy?” Angela asked confused. She couldn’t think of any other Mark and surely, she thought, Nina didn’t mean Mark Jones. He was goofy looking and though everyone knew he was in love with Nina, she didn’t seem to know he was alive.
“No. Not him. Mark’s a guy who goes to Havenfield.”
Havenfield was Jackson High’s rival school. Angela was surprised to hear that Nina would associate with anyone who went to Havenfield and that Evan would be ok with them going out together.
“Um. Ok.” Angela responded, unsurely.
“Anyway, so we’re just going to go after Evan gets out of football practice. That’ll be around 6:00. You and I can spend some time going over the submissions for our t-shirt design contest and listen to a few of the bands who want to play at our annual concert.”
Angela sighed inside – even when making plans to have fun, Nina found a way to put work in somehow.
“Ok. Sounds great.”
“Good. See you tomorrow in the Student Council office after school. Bring something nice to wear for Evan.”
“Why would I-“ Nina hung up before Angela could ask why she would want to wear something nice for Evan.
Part 3
2.01.2010
What I'm Listening To...
From time to time I like to share what I'm listening to.
Many of you will recognize these artists, especially if you watched the Grammy's last night. I was a bit disappointed in how many people in my timeline had nothing good to say about the non hip-hop/rap acts. There is a lot of good music out there that is not hip-hop or rap and I'm always taking the opportunity to expose people to what slices of it I've discovered.
Kings of Leon - Use Somebody
Zac Brown Band - Chicken Fried
Adam Lambert - Whataya Want From Me
Many of you will recognize these artists, especially if you watched the Grammy's last night. I was a bit disappointed in how many people in my timeline had nothing good to say about the non hip-hop/rap acts. There is a lot of good music out there that is not hip-hop or rap and I'm always taking the opportunity to expose people to what slices of it I've discovered.
Kings of Leon - Use Somebody
Zac Brown Band - Chicken Fried
Adam Lambert - Whataya Want From Me
Teach You A Lesson Pt 1
Mr. SmartGuy asked me a question on formspring (check out the handy dandy box you can use to ask me anything, anonymously ---->): "What inspires you to write?" It was a good question that I rambled something off about I inspire myself or some such -- but I think I have a better answer...
Writing has always been a good way for me to explore the things going on in my life. The first short story I ever wrote was in the 8th grade and was about a big family coming together for Christmas. I was inspired by a family I saw in a movie theater. I liked imagining who they were, what brought them together and how their family might interact like my own. Sometimes, my writings help me to take an event that's actually happened and discuss, through my own characters, why certain things may have happened the way they did. It's like getting in somebody's head without having to talk to them. Very therapeutic.
Anyway, in that vein, check out the first part of a short story I recently wrote..
As always... This is a fictional story with some basis in the truth.
Jackson High was a typical high school in a typical city in a typical American state. The students all fell into some clique. The jocks, the popular girls (who were also all beautiful), the nerds, the outcasts – everyone had a group to belong to, whether they liked it or not. Everyone, that is, except Angela Blakemore.
Angela was beautiful, smart and friendly. It seemed she floated from clique to clique with ease. All the jocks wanted to date her, the popular girls all wanted to be her friend and the nerds and outcasts were just happy that she smiled at them instead of scrunching her face up in disgust when she saw them. Her teachers all had nothing but good things to say and by sophomore year, Angela had already risen to Vice-President of Student Council, under the Presidency of Nina Jones.
Nina was a junior who had a reputation that preceded her. Like Angela, she was smart and beautiful but she had a cold exterior that made it hard to get close to her. She had her pick of boyfriends, too, but they were all mostly scared of her. While she had been more than eligible for the position of President, a spot normally only held by a Senior, she won because everyone was afraid of what would happen if they didn’t vote for her.
Nina hand-picked Angela as her VP. Angela enjoyed student council, but as a freshman had only been a class representative. She had no intentions of ascending the ranks so quickly, but Nina had taken a liking to her and didn’t really give her a choice in the matter when election time rolled around.
“So,” Nina began during one of their regular nightly phone calls, “are you ready to be VP?” Angela had figured Nina had been grooming her for this role, but was careful not to assume much.
“I don’t know, Nina. Don’t you think a Senior might want the position?” Angela asked hesitantly.
“I don’t actually care what Senior wants what. I’m a shoe-in for President and I want you as my VP. The end.”
Angela didn’t argue. She knew she was lucky that an older student like Nina had taken her under her wing.
Of all the jocks, Evan Harris was easily the most envied. He could have any girl he wanted and he usually did. Any girl who had ever spent any time with him knew he was a dog and after only one thing. The only problem was, most girls just wanted to be able to say they had gotten a shot with him; after all, Evan only wanted the best of the best and even though after a night with him, most girls felt ashamed, they could at least hold their head up in school the next day knowing they were the envy of most every other girl, especially the younger girls who liked having any Senior, let alone the captain of the football team, pay attention to them.
No one knew this better than Nina. Though everyone was afraid of her, there had been a time where she was dumb and naive. She shuddered to think of it now, but she had gone to great lengths to make sure that what Evan had done to her, no one would ever do again.
It was mid-way through the first semester and there had not yet been anything notable to happen at Jackson High. Nothing notable except that Angela could feel Nina encroaching on her space. Every time she turned around, it seemed, Nina was right there. She always had a new project to work on for Student Council. There was no denying it – she was turning out to be one of the best Presidents ever. Student Council was under budget with most of their events and had even had a few successful fundraising drives. Angela felt proud that she could say she was a part of these successes, but sometimes she really needed a break.
“I don’t know about her,” Angela began during a lunch conversation with her best friend Shannon, “she’s always talking about Student Council stuff. I wonder if she ever thinks about anything else. It’s a wonder she can keep her grades up!”
“I’m sure!” Shannon chirped. Angela and Shannon had been best friends since pre-school and Shannon had noticed that Angela had less and less time for her these days. She was also concerned about the role Nina was taking in Angela’s life. She didn’t feel like Angela would ever try to replace her, but she did feel like Nina wanted all of Angela’s attention, all of the time.
“It’s like you guys are always together. We haven’t had a chance to hang out in weeks.” Shannon started whining. She didn’t mean to, but she missed her best friend.
Angela forked a piece of broccoli and stuffed it in her mouth to chew while she thought about things. “You’re right,” she said as she swallowed the vegetable, “we haven’t had a chance to hang out. I’ll tell you what. I promise we’ll do something this weekend. Isn’t there a new movie coming out? Dead Clown Posse 3 or something?”
Shannon started laughing, “No, Angela. It’s Dope Clown Posse 2! If you’re game, though, I’m game!”
Just then, Shannon saw Evan come up behind Angela. Her eyes opened wide and just as Angela started to ask what was wrong, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder.
“Hey cutie.” Evan was staring down at Angela with a smile that could melt ice. Angela had heard about Evan, but she was still intrigued by him.
“Hi,” she responded.
Just as suddenly and coolly as he had walked up, Evan walked away.
“What was that about?” Shannon asked the obvious question.
“I have no earthly idea.” Angela said.
Check back tomorrow for Pt 2
Part 2
Writing has always been a good way for me to explore the things going on in my life. The first short story I ever wrote was in the 8th grade and was about a big family coming together for Christmas. I was inspired by a family I saw in a movie theater. I liked imagining who they were, what brought them together and how their family might interact like my own. Sometimes, my writings help me to take an event that's actually happened and discuss, through my own characters, why certain things may have happened the way they did. It's like getting in somebody's head without having to talk to them. Very therapeutic.
Anyway, in that vein, check out the first part of a short story I recently wrote..
As always... This is a fictional story with some basis in the truth.
Jackson High was a typical high school in a typical city in a typical American state. The students all fell into some clique. The jocks, the popular girls (who were also all beautiful), the nerds, the outcasts – everyone had a group to belong to, whether they liked it or not. Everyone, that is, except Angela Blakemore.
Angela was beautiful, smart and friendly. It seemed she floated from clique to clique with ease. All the jocks wanted to date her, the popular girls all wanted to be her friend and the nerds and outcasts were just happy that she smiled at them instead of scrunching her face up in disgust when she saw them. Her teachers all had nothing but good things to say and by sophomore year, Angela had already risen to Vice-President of Student Council, under the Presidency of Nina Jones.
Nina was a junior who had a reputation that preceded her. Like Angela, she was smart and beautiful but she had a cold exterior that made it hard to get close to her. She had her pick of boyfriends, too, but they were all mostly scared of her. While she had been more than eligible for the position of President, a spot normally only held by a Senior, she won because everyone was afraid of what would happen if they didn’t vote for her.
Nina hand-picked Angela as her VP. Angela enjoyed student council, but as a freshman had only been a class representative. She had no intentions of ascending the ranks so quickly, but Nina had taken a liking to her and didn’t really give her a choice in the matter when election time rolled around.
“So,” Nina began during one of their regular nightly phone calls, “are you ready to be VP?” Angela had figured Nina had been grooming her for this role, but was careful not to assume much.
“I don’t know, Nina. Don’t you think a Senior might want the position?” Angela asked hesitantly.
“I don’t actually care what Senior wants what. I’m a shoe-in for President and I want you as my VP. The end.”
Angela didn’t argue. She knew she was lucky that an older student like Nina had taken her under her wing.
Of all the jocks, Evan Harris was easily the most envied. He could have any girl he wanted and he usually did. Any girl who had ever spent any time with him knew he was a dog and after only one thing. The only problem was, most girls just wanted to be able to say they had gotten a shot with him; after all, Evan only wanted the best of the best and even though after a night with him, most girls felt ashamed, they could at least hold their head up in school the next day knowing they were the envy of most every other girl, especially the younger girls who liked having any Senior, let alone the captain of the football team, pay attention to them.
No one knew this better than Nina. Though everyone was afraid of her, there had been a time where she was dumb and naive. She shuddered to think of it now, but she had gone to great lengths to make sure that what Evan had done to her, no one would ever do again.
It was mid-way through the first semester and there had not yet been anything notable to happen at Jackson High. Nothing notable except that Angela could feel Nina encroaching on her space. Every time she turned around, it seemed, Nina was right there. She always had a new project to work on for Student Council. There was no denying it – she was turning out to be one of the best Presidents ever. Student Council was under budget with most of their events and had even had a few successful fundraising drives. Angela felt proud that she could say she was a part of these successes, but sometimes she really needed a break.
“I don’t know about her,” Angela began during a lunch conversation with her best friend Shannon, “she’s always talking about Student Council stuff. I wonder if she ever thinks about anything else. It’s a wonder she can keep her grades up!”
“I’m sure!” Shannon chirped. Angela and Shannon had been best friends since pre-school and Shannon had noticed that Angela had less and less time for her these days. She was also concerned about the role Nina was taking in Angela’s life. She didn’t feel like Angela would ever try to replace her, but she did feel like Nina wanted all of Angela’s attention, all of the time.
“It’s like you guys are always together. We haven’t had a chance to hang out in weeks.” Shannon started whining. She didn’t mean to, but she missed her best friend.
Angela forked a piece of broccoli and stuffed it in her mouth to chew while she thought about things. “You’re right,” she said as she swallowed the vegetable, “we haven’t had a chance to hang out. I’ll tell you what. I promise we’ll do something this weekend. Isn’t there a new movie coming out? Dead Clown Posse 3 or something?”
Shannon started laughing, “No, Angela. It’s Dope Clown Posse 2! If you’re game, though, I’m game!”
Just then, Shannon saw Evan come up behind Angela. Her eyes opened wide and just as Angela started to ask what was wrong, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder.
“Hey cutie.” Evan was staring down at Angela with a smile that could melt ice. Angela had heard about Evan, but she was still intrigued by him.
“Hi,” she responded.
Just as suddenly and coolly as he had walked up, Evan walked away.
“What was that about?” Shannon asked the obvious question.
“I have no earthly idea.” Angela said.
Check back tomorrow for Pt 2
Part 2
1.29.2010
I Can't Help It
This has been quite an interesting day for me.
But before I get into that, let me fill you in...
There's a guy I've known for a long time. We'll call him Will. Will and I went on a date once in high school. Nothing really came of it. We were friendly after and that was all. I do know that he once tried to get at a friend of mine (who, interestingly, he invited on our date but she declined later). From time to time, I wondered if he had tried to get to her through me.
Through high school, I was vaguely aware of Will's dating history/habits. From what I could tell, with the exception of one girl, he was really in it just to say he was. In other words, he dated certain girls just so he could say he was able to pull them, and some girls he dated just for sex. No worse than some of the guys I knew, but no stand up guy either.
At some point during college, Will took an active interest in me. Inquired when I'd be home for breaks, wanted to hang out, etc... I also felt a certain tension between us. I've often described it as sexual, but honestly it was something else. Like there was something that could be said but we weren't going to discuss it.
While I was home for Christmas, I hung out with Will quite a bit, but always in a larger group. One of the first nights I hung out with him, I invited him out to a lounge. He brought his brother and eventually he and his brother and I and my friend Maria (that same friend he tried to get at in high school) ended up at a 24 hour cafe. We were all slightly inebriated. Will started asking me a lot of questions that all amounted to whether or not I was dating anyone, but because he wouldn't ask me straight out (and because I was a little drunk and confused), I ignored him. Then he started telling me how much he'd changed over the last year or so. "I've turned over a new leaf. I'm done with all that stupid stuff, he said, whatever that meant. At some point in the evening, he went in for the kill. "Let's go get married tomorrow. I'll meet you at the courthouse." My mouth fell open. I was drunk, but I wasn't that drunk. My friend came in for the save, "Can't ya'll fall in love, first?" she asked.
Though I saw him almost every night the rest of that week, aside from the harmless flirting I'd grown used to, Will never said anything else. Even when I asked him if he remembered saying that to me, he feigned confusion and forgetfulness, assuming I believe, I'd blame it on the intoxication.
The night before he flew to NYC for New Year's Eve, I went over to his house to hang out with him and some mutual friends. I had been on the phone with him for most of the day and shortly before I pulled into his driveway, he asked me a question,
"Can you hook me up with Maria?"I was a little bit shocked. I knew the vibes I was getting from him, but this was completely out of left field. I told him that I didn't make it a habit to play matchmaker and that if he was interested in Maria he could pursue her on his own.
"What?"
"Maria. Is she seeing anyone?"
"Yeah, actually. She has a boyfriend."
"Well, eff her man. I could take her from her man."
A few nights ago, Will text me to see how I was. We talked a little and eventually I made a comment about how I understood his money troubles, because I needed to start thinking about how I was going to pay for school.
"Maybe you should take some of these guys up on their offer," He suggested.He never responded. Later, I surmised he meant the marriage offer -- I forgot that I had, told him that a waiter at a restaurant I was patronizing had also jokingly asked to marry me.
"What offers?" I asked, genuinely confused
This morning, Will text me and asked for my help. He told me he had a bunch of girls who wanted to get with him, some of whom he liked, but he didn't do much to pursue them.
"What's wrong with me?" he asked.Before I could ask what brought this on, he text me again,
"I don't know," I told him, "but it's wierd that these girls are doing almost all the work for you, and still nothing."
"That's it! I like the chase. I want to work for the girl."
"My offer still stands"
"Don't you think we skipped a few steps?" I asked, hoping he was just beating this tired old joke.
"That's what the engagement's for. It's love at first sight, I can't help how I feel."
That sound you hear is crickets chirping.
"How is it love at first sight," one friend asked, "if he's known you for 10 years and is just now saying something?
Good question. I've consulted my panel -- that is, friends of mine who I think know me well enough to pick up on the nuances and to give me advice I'm likely to actually use -- and I've got a wide array of suggestions.
Everyone asked me if I was interested in him. To one inquisitor I responded, "If I weren't interested, there'd be no need for a conversation on this, would there?"
Eventually, he told me the ball was in my court. I told him I'll call him back tonight to discuss. Hopefully by then I'll have something to say because right now, all I got is sputter. As I told another friend, there's a level of vulnerability required here that I'm not comfortable with. I've long known that if I plan to make a relationship work anytime soon, I have to get over feeling bad about feeling vulnerable -- that mess is much easier said than done.
I'm blaming Valentine's Day.
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